I'm not happy with you
by yuuup
Summary: They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, sometimes, absences make people lonely and horny. Pairing: Merder, Merfinn Rated M for language, abuse, and some rape.
1. See you in a week!

They say absence makes the heart fonder. Well, sometimes, absence makes some people lonely and horny. Pairing: Merder, Merfinn.

Okay, so this is my first fic. So, please be nice. This story line has been bouncing around in my head for a while and I had to do something about it. I'm not gonna tell you who I would like Meredith to be paired up with, because that would give it away. So, here goes nothing.

Oh, and if I get reviews, then I'll defiantly keep going. I don't want to keep writing and no one is reading.

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"Bye Meri" He said. 

_Ugh, I hate it when he calls me Meri. _

"Bye," She responds blandly.

"I'll see you in a week."

_What am I doing with him? _

"Okay," She says.

He walks over to where his girlfriend is and gives her a hug and a kiss right underneath her left eye.

_Damn it, I hate it when he kisses me there. He's so stupid. Why am I with him? _

"I wish you can go with me, Meri, but I can't bring a guest."

_Oh, that's why, he's sweet. But not manly. He needs to get tougher. _

"Oh, it's okay. It'll be nice to have the house alone to myself for a while." She responds as she gives him a little punch on the right shoulder. _Toughen up, little girl. _

He turns around as the cab honks outside. Then turns back to look at her.

_Don't give me those sad puppy-dog eyes. I'm not walking you out. _

"Bye! That's your cab." Meredith says, rather coldly.

"Okay, bye Meri." He says sadly.

She watches as his retreating figure gets into the cab. She is looking for an ass to check out, but fails when there is none.

_Oh, finally he's gone, for a whole week. _

She walks into the kitchen and looks into the refrigerator. She frowns when she finds nothing.

_Gosh! There is nothing in here edible. It's all his healthy food and shit. What the hell is mochi?_

"I need to go to the store and get some real food." Meredith says rather loudly, to no one. "But first I need to stop talking to myself."

----

She puts her strawberry ice cream, goldfish, Lean Cuisines, and vitamin water on the conveyer belt thingy. She notices as someone puts coffee ice cream right behind her groceries, but doesn't look up at the owner. She is too busy looking for her debit card in her messy purse.

"Come on, lady, I don't got all day."

_Damn kid. Why are all cashiers teenage, impatient, pimply kids these days?_

She looks up at the cashier. "I take it you want me to pay for these groceries?"

"Yeah."

"Then settle down!" Meredith responds.

She hears a slight chuckle from behind her.

_The coffee ice cream guy is laughing at me?! At least I have good taste in ice cream. _

She looks up at the man behind her, and in the process she drops her purse, making everything fall out.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." She says under her breath as she bends down to pick up her possessions.

"Oh, come on." The teenager says.

She notices as the coffee ice cream guy bends down to help her as well. She looks at him only to get lost in his dark, never ending eyes. They have little lines on the side, but who cares? They look so inviting and kind. She starts to say something, but can't make the words out.

"Let me help you with that." He says. "It'll get this little ass off your back faster." He looks up at the cashier. She suddenly feels very cold and lonely when his eyes leave hers.

"All right, if you two are done having eye sex down there, I'd like to get on with my day."

With all her possessions back in her purse, Meredith stands up quickly, swiping her debit card, feeling embarrassed. She runs out of the store, with her groceries in her hand.

"Wait! You forgot... your check book." The man says, knowing she didn't hear him when she come back. He looked into it and saw her address.

When Meredith is back in her Jeep, she looks in her purse looking for anything that might have fallen out. She gets so embarrassed when she finds two tampons, that she doesn't even see her check book fell out.

_Great, Mer, great, you let the hot guy in the market see your tampon collection._

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**Okay, I know its not great. Review if you feel like it. Tell me if you want me to continue**


	2. Where's the beer?

Thank you for the reviews; you know who you are, since there were only two of you. As requested, here is chapter two.

Oh, I'm gonna aim for one chapter a day, and I'm writing as I go, so please be patient.

Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's then there would be a new episode every night. Even Tuesdays.

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(Song is All I Need by Mat Kearney)

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When Meredith got home, she threw the groceries on the counter, and jumped into the shower. It was then she started belting out her favorite song:

_I meant what I said when I said until my dying day  
I'm holding on to you, holding on to me  
Maybe it's all gone black but you're all I see  
You're all I see _

The whole time she was singing the song, she wasn't thinking about her boyfriend of one year, Finn, all she could about was the owner of those beautiful, intoxicating blue eyes that met hers in the supermarket.

_No, Meredith! You're with Finn! The vet. The girly vet. The guy who calls me Meri. And who kisses me underneath my eye... Damn it! _

The doorbell rang, tearing Meredith from her thoughts. She pulled her robe on and shuffled to the front door. Her golden locks curled around her face and fell to her shoulders. Her long, smooth legs were visible because of her short robe.

She opened the door still singing the song.

"_You're all I need-" _

Meredith instantly fell into a pool of beautiful dark blue eyes, for the second time that day. It was the coffee ice cream guy.

"Thanks, Mer, you're all I need too. What's goin' on?" The man asked as he brushed past her and walked into the house.

_Oh, god, he smells so good. I love his cologne. And he smells like pine? Wait, wait, wait, what the fu-_

"Hey, Mer, you got any beer?" the mysterious man asked from the kitchen.

"No, wait, what?" a confused Meredith asked.

"Fine, any scotch?"

He was searching through her cupboards and smiled broad when he found some scotch. Meredith just stood there, mouth agape, looking at the man in her house. As confused as she was, a small part of her felt comfortable with him in her house. She watched as he got a small cup down. He walked past her, cup in hand, smiling broadly at her. She looked at this man in disbelief as he made himself at home on her couch, turning the television on to General Hospital.

_Who the hell...? _

Suddenly, Meredith ran into the living room, frantic.

"Who the hell are you? What are you doing here? How do you know where I live? Why are you watching General Hospital? What the fu-?"

"Oh, please, don't play like you don't watch General Hospital. You know you want Jason and Elizabeth together too."

"Well, yeah, I think they-" she stopped herself. "No, wait what the hell?"

She moved towards him and had fire in her eyes.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mer." The man said as he stood up and put his hands on her shoulders. "Settle down. Let me explain." He said with a smile. He extended his hand for her to shake it. "I'm Derek Shepherd."

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****Okay, so here is chapter two. Review please. You know you want to. Thank you! **

**-Mary**


	3. The beast is hungry

**Thank you everyone who reviewed. I love to see your opinions and if you have any suggestions, please, don't hesitate.**

**Sorry the chapters are so short. And they probably won't get much longer. So you have to live with it. But there will be a lot of short chapters**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. If I did, then Patrick Dempsey, Eric Dane, and Justin Chambers would be naked. All the time. **

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"_Settle down. Let me explain." He said with a smile. He extended his hand for her to shake it. "I'm Derek Shepherd." _

So now, Meredith finally had a name to go with those beautiful eyes. Derek Shepherd. No longer coffee ice cream guy. No longer just the guy in the grocery store with the never-ending eyes and who saw her tampon collection.

_Derek Shepherd. That's a great name. Sounds powerful, like a neuro surgeon God, neuro surgeons are so hot... A real doctor, not a vet. Hmmm... Meredith Shepherd... No! Meredith Dandridge. Ew, that sounds like shit. Wait, why is Derek Shepherd in my living room? _

"Who?" Meredith asked.

"Derek Shepherd. I met you in the grocery store?" Derek said, like it was no big deal he was drinking scotch in her living room. "Oh! You probably want to know why I'm here, huh?"

"Yeah that would be great! I don't just let random guys into my house all the time."

"Then why did you let me into your house?"

_Because you have beautiful eyes, and a nice ass. _

"Beside the point! Why are you here?"

Derek chuckled. "You look hot when you yell."

"Stop! Why are you here?"

Derek looked at her, smiled and took his seat back on the couch, "Relax, Mer, it'll be good for your blood pressure. Sit down. You get three questions, then my turn."

"Ugh, hold on."

Meredith walked out of the living room and into her and Finn's bedroom. She opened her closet door, took out a long sleeve college shirt from her alma mater, Dartmouth. She slipped it on and then pulled some jeans on.

_What am I doing? I'm with Finn! Finn who is boring, and never jokes around or teases me. And I'm horny. God, I can't wait until marriage, what is Finn thinking? I have needs. The beast is hungry. _

She walked into her bathroom, put on some light makeup, then walked into the kitchen. She got her dragon fruit vitamin water out of the refrigerator and sat down next to Derek. She pulled her feet underneath herself and asked the question that has been on her mind since Derek knocked on her front door.

She looked into his eyes, and asked, "How do you know my name?"

He pulled her checkbook out of his back pocket and threw it her way, "You left this behind at the grocery store."

"So you looked into my checkbook and tracked me down? Stalker!"

"Yes, one more question."

"Wait, that doesn't count!" She said flustered. He looked at her, and smiled a McDreamy smile, and said,

"Yes that was a question; it had a question mark at the end."

"Fine." She sat wondering about her next question.

"Okay anytime today would be nice."

"I'm thinking."

"You look cute when you think."

"Shut up." She ordered. "Okay I have one."

"Okay, shoot."

"What do you do for a living?"

He smiled. Even before he answered her question, she knew his answer.

"I'm a neuro surgeon."

_Oh, god. _

**

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****So there is chapter three! ****Next are Derek's questions. **

**Please review, I will probably update later today. **

**Thank you! **

**-Mary**


	4. Euthanasia?

**Thank you for your reviews and suggestions. **

**Sorry the chapters are so short, I have a limited time on the computer, so that's why. But I will try to make them longer. Thank you! **

**Disclaimer: Wow, I don't have anything funny to say. I don't own Grey's or the characters.**

_He smiled. Even before he answered her question, she knew the answer. _

"_I'm a neuro surgeon." _

_Oh, god. _

Meredith just sats there, staring at Derek. Her eyes are glassed over; she wears a smirk on her mouth. Derek looks at her. He lets her think for a second more before he chants her name.

_Oh my god. A neuro surgeon?! Can he be more of a catch? Great hair, beautiful eyes, kind face, and he saves lives for a living. And he is a real doctor! Not a vet... _

"Meredith?"

_Meredith Shepherd. _

"Meredith?"

_Or Meredith Grey-Shepherd... _

This time, Derek put his hand on her shoulder and gently shook her, "Meredith!"

"Huh? What? Oh, sorry." Meredith's face turned a bright shade of red.

"It's okay. What were you thinking about?"

_Shit! What do I say? 'Oh, I was thinking if I should just take your name when we get married or do the hyphen thing.'? Shit shit shit. _

"Meredith?"

_Fuck! You have to say something. It's been like five minutes! You are just staring at him he thinks you're crazy._

"Meredith?"

"Um... euthanasia.

"You were thinking about euthanasia?" Derek asked, confused.

"Yeah, it's wrong." _Shit, change the subject! _"Okay, your turn..."

"Um, okay."

_Oh god, he thinks I'm crazy! _

"Favorite color?"

"Green."

"Red or white wine?"

"Red."

"Cats or dogs?"

_What the fuck kind of questions are these? They suck! _

"Dogs"

He looked to the television that was still tuned to General Hospital.

"Jason and Elizabeth, or Elizabeth and Lucky?"

"What?"

"On General Hospital! Duh! It's best soap opera ever!

"..." Meredith just sats there, shocked that he actually watches her favorite soap opera.

_Is this guy gay? _

"Okay, now you think I'm gay." He says, still looking at the screen.

_Shit! Can he read my fuckin' mind?_

"I'm not gay." He declares. "I'm masculine enough to watch daytime soap operas." He adds with a deeper tone of voice. A giggle from Meredith fills the room. Derek whips his head to look at Meredith giggle. Right then, he decided his favorite sound was her giggle. When her giggle died down, he turns back to the TV.

"So, what, you don't watch this?" He asked. "Don't tell me you watch All My Children, I hate that show!"

"No, I watch General Hospital."

"So?"

"Jason and Elizabeth."

Derek let out a sigh of relief. "Well, this sounds like the beginning of a great relationship." He turned to look at Meredith with a full smile that reached his eyes.

_Relationship... _

A few seconds passed.

_Wait, relationship?! No, no, no. what about Finn? I secretly hate Finn, but I can't hurt him. No, this can't happen. _

Meredith stood abruptly. Derek turned to look up at her.

"Is there something wrong, Mer?"

_Mer, not Meri. This sucks. _

Meredith panicked. "You have to leave. Now."

The smile faded from his lips. "But, Mer I-"

"No, I can't do this."

"Can I just leave my number?"

Meredith didn't have time to object because Derek was already writing his cell phone number on a piece of paper.

"You have to go." Meredith placed her small hands on Derek's large chest and pushed him towards the front door. She opened the door and tried to push Derek out of it. But Derek was stronger and just stood on the threshold.

"Mer, are you okay?"

"No, yes, no! You just have to leave."

"Okay, Mer, I'll go." Derek said, with a hint of sadness in his voice. "But this won't be the last time I see you. Bye, Meredith."

Meredith watched as Derek Shepherd walked down the driveway to his car. She wished that last sentence would be true. She smiled as she watched his ass as he walked away.

_Damn it... _

**Okay there is chapter four! I hope everyone liked it. Please review. Thank you! **

**-Mary**


	5. Dinner for two

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I appreciate all the support. **

**Sorry I couldn't update this sooner. I'm in the process of moving and I was packing all day. **

**Okay, I made this one extra long for you guys! **

**Disclaimer: Nope, nope, nope. **

_Ring, ring! _

"Wha-?"

_Ring, ring! _

Once Meredith understood her phone was ringing she started to reach for it on her night stand.

_Ring, ring! _

**THUD!!! **

"SHIT!!!"

Meredith reached for the phone from her place on the ground.

"This had better be good." Meredith grunted. "My ass hurts, and it's your fault."

"Do you want me to massage it for you?"

"Ha, ha, very funny, Derek. What do you want? Why are you calling me so early?"

"Wow, someone isn't a morning person. I can help you with that." Derek said smugly.

"I am hanging up now. I want to be asleep." Meredith made no motion to hang up the phone.

"Wait, wait, don't hang up." Derek pleaded.

"All right, all right." Meredith said sarcastically.

A comfortable silence passed between the two.

"So, um, why are you calling me at 9:30 in the morning?" Meredith asked with a grin on her face.

"Because normal adults are awake at this hour." Derek teased.

"Hanging up now."

"Okay, serious Derek now." He said. "I want to cook you dinner tonight."

_Huh? _

"Huh?" Meredith was confused. No one has ever cooked her dinner before. She always had to cook dinner for Finn, every night. He always came home and demanded that dinner be on the table. It would fell nice to not have to cook dinner for a change.

"You... don't eat dinner...?" Derek was hesitant.

Meredith let out a giggle. "Of course I eat dinner." Meredith said with a grin. "But why do you want to?"

"Because I want to get to know you better." Derek said shyly.

_Oh, that is so sweet, but Finn... _

"Oh, I dunno if that's a good idea."

"Too bad, I'll be there at 6:00. Bye, Mer."

Before Meredith could protest, she heard the dial tone.

_Derek is coming over here? I have to clean the whole house, change my clothes, wash my hair, oh my god! No, no, it's fine. I'm just nervous. Why am I nervous? Derek makes me feel weird, the good kind of weird, though. Wow, that sounds juvenile. But it's true. I haven't felt like this since... I've never felt like this! Shouldn't I have felt like this with Finn? Oh, shit! Finn! I forgot about him! Derek can't come over! Oh, god, what do I do? No. Derek just helped me in the store. We are just friends..._

----

Meredith glanced at the clock. It was 5:30. Derek would be there soon. Meredith had spent the whole day getting ready. She figured that since they were just friends, then it wasn't bad that she curled her hair, painted her finger and toe nails, put some extra mascara on, and cleaned the whole house. She was sitting in the living room watching some medical show, but she wasn't paying attention, she kept thinking about Derek.

_So what if I might have feelings for Derek? I mean, nothing is going to happen, he doesn't even feel the same way about me. Nothing will ever happen. Nothing can ever happen. Finn is a great guy. Well, kind of demanding. But other than that, he is so... so... boring! And rude, inconsiderate, and wears an odd amount of green sweaters. He doesn't pay attention to me, and calls me Meri. Derek calls me Mer. That is so much better. And he is sweet and funny, and obviously smart, he's a neuro surgeon! God, neuro surgeons are so hot! He cooks, and he is willing to do it. Great hair, beautiful eyes, god not to brag, but we would have beautiful babies! _

_Ding, dong! _

"Shit!" Meredith was so lost in her thoughts, she didn't even notice that she was thinking about Derek for a half hour. She quickly turned off the television and walked to the door. She opened it to reveal Derek standing there with two brown grocery bags in his hands. He was wearing a red shirt, a good looking red shirt, jeans, and a huge smile. Her mouth matched his. She was so intoxicated by how good he looked, she didn't even know she was staring, again.

"Mer?"

"..."

"Mer?"

"..."

"Meredith!" Derek chuckled.

"Oh, sorry, what?"

"Are you going to let me in?" Derek asked, "It's starting to rain and I don't want the food to get wet. I mean I know I look good, but you can stare at me some more when I'm in the house." Derek said nonchalantly.

"Smartass. I wasn't staring at you," Meredith lied, "I thought I saw someone breaking into your car."

_Good one, Mer. _

Derek turned around swiftly, "What? Really?"

Meredith took this time to check out his ass, again. "Um, no, get in, the food is getting wet."

Derek just looked at her, then brushed past her into the kitchen. Seconds later, Meredith joined him. She looked at him getting everything ready.

"Okay, what can I do?" Meredith asked.

"Just sit there and look beautiful." Derek replied with a smile. "But don't go too far, I have some questions for you.

Meredith found a seat at the breakfast counter facing Derek. "Good questions or bad questions?"

"Good."

"Okay, shoot."

Derek was pouring a glass of red wine for her. "How long have you lived in Seattle?"

"Thank you. I moved out here when I was ten with my mother. She got a job at Seattle Grace Hospit-."

Derek interrupted her, "Wait, your mother is Ellis Grey?!"

Meredith knew that sooner or later this subject would come up, with Derek being a neuro surgeon. She put her head down and answered quietly, "Yes."

Derek knew the life a surgeon was tough with long, busy hours, and trying to raise a child only made that job harder. "Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

Meredith raised her head, flashed him a smile and said, "No, its okay, you didn't know. Next question."

"Nope it's your turn. "

"Okay, um, how about you? How long have you lived here?"

"Well, to be honest, this story kinda sucks. I used to live in New York, and I was married to this woman named Addison. I don't even know why I married her, I never really loved her. We went to high school together and then med school. Well, anyway, one night I came home and I found her in bed with my best friend, Mark. I ran out, to a hotel and the next day, I got the divorce papers. I signed, she signed, then I moved out here because everything reminded me of her. That was six months ago. So answer your question, six months."

Meredith felt a surge of sadness, pity and anger towards this Addison person. How could anyone do that? "I'm so sorry, Derek, that's awful."

Derek looked up at her with sadness in his eyes, then smiled. "It's okay. It's better this way. Our marriage was over long before that night."

Through out the night, the conversation flowed as did the wine. The two learned a lot about each other's lives. Derek learned Meredith was an only child, her father passed away five years ago, she was a kindergarten teacher, he drink of choice was tequila, and she was deathly afraid of whales. Meredith learned Derek was the head of neuro surgery at Seattle Grace Hospital, somewhere Meredith spent most her time as a child. He loves ferry boats, and his favorite band is The Clash. They were now splayed out on the couch in front of the television watching some show neither was paying much attention to. They were too rapped up in their conversation. Casually, Derek looked at his watch.

"Wow, it's already 11:30. I should probably go, it's a school night." He added with a wink.

"Wow, it is late." She watched as Derek got up from the couch, seconds later Meredith was following him to the front door.

When Derek reached his destination, he turned to look at Meredith.

"I had a great night, Meredith."

"Yeah me too."

Seconds passed, with the two just looking into each other's eyes.

"Well, I should get going."

"Okay," Meredith smiled. "Goodnight, Derek."

"Goodnight, Meredith."

With that, he turned around and ran through the rain to his car. Meredith watched to make sure drove off safely, when she saw that, she closed the door, turned around and slid down the wall.

_Oh, god, what am I doing? _

**Okay, that's chapter five. I hope you liked it. Review...or not. Thank you! **

**-Mary**


	6. McDreamy and late night calls

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, I appreciate all the support. **

**Sorry I couldn't get this up sooner, I had a very busy day, which ended with me seeing the Simpson's Movie. **

**Disclaimer: One can only dream...**

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The next day, Meredith had plans with her best friend, Cristina Yang. Cristina is different. She is very competitive, pessimistic, blunt, and smug. But when you need her most, she was right there by your side. She's the one who will threaten your boyfriend, making sure he knew that if he hurt you, she'll kill him and make it look like an accident. Despite their different personalities, Meredith loved her like a sister.

Cristina and Meredith were sitting in a café, catching up on old times. Dr. Cristina Yang, head of cardiothoracics at Seattle Grace Hospital, was happily married to Dr. Mark Sloan, head of plastics, at Seattle Grace Hospital, for three years. Between the hospital and her twins, Luke Martin and Isabella Grace, Cristina didn't have much time to spend with friends. So, when Meredith said she had met, and had dinner with Dr. Derek Shepherd, Cristina made sure she had time to meet with Meredith.

"So, how was the sex?"

"Cristina! I'm with-..."

"Oh, don't give me this shit about Finn." Cristina leaned in towards Meredith. "All right cut the crap. You and I both know you hate Finn! Break up with him already, so you can lots and lots of sex with Dr. McDreamy."

"Dr. McDreamy?"

"Hey I have seen him around the hospital, he isn't bad looking."

"Ooooh, I'm telling on you to Mark!"

"Shut up, don't change the subject. You are in love with McDreamy."

"I am not!" Meredith fought back with a huge grin.

Cristina chuckled. "Just admit it you have the hots for-..."

Cristina was cut off by the vibrating of Meredith's phone on the table. Meredith picked it up and looked at the caller ID. Her grin was quickly replaced with a frown.

"Finn?"

Meredith sighed, "Yes." She quickly pushed the ignore button. "So how are Mark, Bella, and Luke?"

Cristina let out a small laugh, "Oh, no, you don't get off that easily." Cristina paused, "Well maybe you do, since you haven't fed the beast in a whole year." Cristina laughed loudly capturing the attention of everyone in the small café. Meredith countered this with a large frown.

"That's not funny, I think it's honorable that Finn wants to save himself for marriage."

Cristina stopped laughing abruptly, "Wait, are you saying that Finn has _never_, you know, um, played hide the pickle? _Ever!?" _

"Well, um, yeah." Meredith said a little above a whisper.

Cristina just stared at her friend, "Oh, wow, I'm not even gonna say anything about that." Cristina took a sip of her diet coke. "You mean he never... never mind."

"Shut up."

"Okay we need to talk about the real reason you are here. You like McDreamy."

"Um..."

"Okay, hi, Mer, it's me. You can tell me anything." Cristina said with a disgusted look on her face, "Well not everything, but you get it."

"Okay, fine," Meredith gave in. "I have feelings for Derek."

"Okay thank you for telling me something I already know." Cristina stated. "You wanna know what I would do if I was in your situation?"

Meredith let out a sigh. "Yes, please."

"Okay, first of all, you need to figure out who you wanna be with." Cristina said, "After you figure out you wanna be with Derek," Cristina smiled, Meredith matched it. "You have to break up with Finn the little school girl."

"Easier said than done." Meredith groaned. "Finn is the sweetest guy ever, he has been there for me through everything in the past year. I can't hurt him."

"Meredith look at me," Cristina said seriously. "I'm gonna say something that you won't repeat to anyone." Cristina looked at Meredith with the I'm-gonna-kill-you-if-you-tell-anyone-I-said-this-to-you eyes.

"Okay, this will be our secret."

"Okay, as you know, when I met Mark, I was dating Burke." Meredith nodded. "I thought I loved Burke, but I didn't. Whenever I saw Mark my heart rate could quicken and there would be butterflies in my stomach. Whenever Mark 'accidentally' grazed my hand to reach for a chart, I would blush like no other, and my skin would crawl, in the good way." Cristina added. "I _never _felt this with Burke. When Burke left, I knew where my heart was. It was with Mark. Mark is my other half. I am so much happier with Mark than I ever was with Burke. Whenever I see Mark, my heart still races, and it always will because we have the real thing." Cristina confessed. "What you have with Finn is nothing more than a friendship. I have seen you two together. You don't look at each other like two people in love. Now, I know I haven't seen you and Derek together, but you wouldn't call me like this and just spend the whole day talking about him. Whenever I say his name, your eyes light up like a girl losing her virginity on her prom night. Meredith, you need to figure out who your heart is with." Cristina's pager rang out, cutting into her speech. "I have to take this." She stood up, threw a five on the table for lunch, and said, "Spend some more time with Derek. If you find these feelings you have to be romantic ones, break it off with Finn, and pursue Derek. If not," Cristina sighed, "Break it off with Finn, just for good measure." Cristina grinned, and then walked off, leaving Meredith to her thoughts.

----

That night, Meredith couldn't sleep. She kept thinking about what Cristina said to her. Meredith kept tossing and turning in her king-sized bed, and rolled onto Finn's pillow. She breathed in his scent and almost threw up her dinner.

_That's not a good sign. Why can't I sleep? I'm tired. I like Derek, not Finn. But... I don't know. I have only known Derek for like, two days! But I can't get him out of my head. I think I should-... _

Meredith couldn't finish her thought on account of a loud crashing sound outside of her window. She jumped up out of bed, and ran into the living room. On the way, she turned on a small lamp. Then she went into the coat closet and got a wooden bat out.

_I knew this would come in handy one day. _

Only, it wouldn't. Meredith was too scared to do anything. She was stuck to one spot, then she heard another crashing sound. She jumped in her place. She didn't have anyone to turn to. Finn wasn't there; Cristina was on-call tonight, Mark has the kids, and her list of people ran out there. She didn't have many friends. The only other person she could turn was...

_Oh, god, I don't want to disturb him. _

CRASH!!!

_Okay, if someone is trying to break into my house and kill me, I should call someone, right? _

Meredith agreed with herself and walked lightly into the living room. She picked up the piece of paper he had written on only a day ago, got the phone, and started dialing. She had tears in her eyes.

_Please pick up, please, please, please... _

"Hello?" A groggy man answered.

"Derek? I need your help. I'm scared. Can you come over?"

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****Okay there it is. Please leave your thoughts in the form of a review! Thank you! **

**-Mary**


	7. Give me your shirt

**Thanks to all of you who reviewed. I appreciate all the support. **

**Okay, sorry this wasn't up sooner. I had a lot to pack, and then I just got lazy. **

**Yes, Cristina is with Mark. The original plan was to put her with Burke, but when I was writing it, it sounded weird after the finale, and I never really liked Burke and Cristina together anyway. So, I had to put her with Mark because I just couldn't put her with George or Alex. Oh, and for the sake of this fic, the Mark, Derek, and Addison thing never happened. Derek doesn't know Mark outside of the hospital. Addison cheated on Derek with someone else. **

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own the greatness that is Grey's Anatomy. **

* * *

"_Hello?" A groggy man answered. _

"_Derek? I need your help. I'm scared. Can you come over?" _

Meredith told Derek she thought there was someone outside of her house, trying to get in. Derek laughed at her.

"I'm sorry, Meredith, are you sure that someone is trying to breaking into your house?"

"Fine, you want me to die? Then don't come over!"

"Okay, okay, I really don't want you to die, Meredith, I'll be over in five minutes."

Meredith walked around to the kitchen window, and looked outside. It was dark outside, and she couldn't really see clearly with all the tears blurring her vision. She stopped in her tracks and gasped.

_Oh my god, oh my god, what is that?! _

There was something crawling on all fours outside her house. She could only see it because of the dim moonlight. She started pacing and wringing her hands. She looked at the clock over the sink.

_Probably it's just a skunk. Oh, god, what if it's a bear?! Oh, shit, there is a bear in my backyard! A fuckin' bear? What the hell?_

"Where the hell is Derek?!" Meredith was so lost in her thoughts, she didn't even hear herself say that out loud. Or when the man entered her house and walked right up behind her.

"You're cute when you're nervous."

Meredith whipped around so fast that she bitch slapped the guy right across the face.

"Ouch!" The man yelped, "Is that how you always greet your guests?"

Meredith squinted in the dark, and saw it was Derek. She smiled and answered, "Only the ones I like."

_Oh, shit, did I really just say that? What the hell is wrong with me? _

Derek leaned towards her and smiled, "I like you, too, Meredith." Meredith's smile grew larger, and she towards him.

CRASH!!!

Derek smiled and looked out the window, "I take it that was what you called me over for at three in the morning?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah." Meredith forgot all about the bear underneath the kitchen window.

"Wish me luck, Mer." He squeezed her shoulder lightly as he brushed past her.

"Wait!"

Derek turned around and looked at Meredith, "Yeah?"

_Wait, what, Meredith? What are you gonna say? Damn it, why do you do these things? _

"Um, uh, oh! Do you want a flashlight?"

"Yeah, that would help."

Meredith reached under the sink to retrieve the flashlight that was in the cupboard, and handed it to Derek.

"Go get 'em tiger."

Derek just looked at her, and then walked out the kitchen door to the backyard.

_What the fuck did I just say to him? Who says 'Go get 'em tiger'? Why am I so nervous? What the hell is wrong with me? _

Meredith looks out the window and sees nothing. No bear, no Derek.

_Oh, shit, where are they? What happened? Oh, no, the bear ate Derek and then ran away. I killed Derek! _

Meredith started to panic, again. She got another flashlight and started to walk outside. She put her hand on the doorknob and she feels it start to turn, without her doing it.

_What the fu-..._

The door opens to reveal a man, all wet, with a dark lump in one hand and a long shiny thing in the other hand.

"Aaahhh!" Meredith screamed. She dropped the flashlight and started to hit the man in the chest.

"What is with all the violence tonight?" The man asked. "I don't think I should come over anymore."

Meredith stopped. She flipped the light on to expose Derek, the flashlight, and a little chocolate lab. "What's that?" She pointed to the dog.

"What does it look like?"

"A cute little puppy!" Meredith instantly pried the puppy out of Derek's strong grip. She turned around and started to with the dog.

"Don't worry, Mer, I'm fine, just soaking, but I think I'll live."

"Oh, god, stop pouting, give me your shirt."

Derek looked at her incredulously, "What?"

"You heard me, take your shirt off and give it to me."

"Um, why?"

Meredith smiled, "So I can look at you in all your naked glory."

Derek was stunned, his mouth dropped open, "Excuse me, what?"

Meredith laughed, "I'm just kidding, I can't let you freeze to death in my house," She leaned forward, "If you haven't noticed, I'm a tiny woman, I would have to call someone to help me with your corpse. And then there is the problem with the neighbors staring at me hauling a body wrapped in the carpet into my Jeep."

Derek laughed, "So why do you want my shirt?"

"So I can put in the dryer." She paused and looked down, "I should probably do your pants too."

"Um, okay, thanks, Mer." She walked into the living room, and came back with a blanket.

"Here, you can use the bathroom down the hall on the right, and use this to cover yourself up and keep warm."

Derek smiled, "Thanks, Mer." He walked down the hall into the bathroom and closed the door.

Meredith watched him go, then walked into the living room and took a seat. She looked down at the little puppy in her arms.

"What are we gonna name you, little..."

She lifted the dog in the air and looked under it.

"... guy. What are we gonna name you, little guy?" She asked with a laugh.

Derek came out with his clothes in his hand, and said, "Wow, its really coming down out there, isn't it?" as he looked outside.

Meredith just stared at Derek. He had most of the blanket wrapped around his waist, so his chest was exposed.

_Oh, shit. _

"So, if you tell me where the dryer is, I can put the clothes in it myself."

_Say something... _

"Oh, yeah, down the hall, second door on the right."

"Thanks, I'll be right back." He said wiht a wink.

_Oh, god, what did I do, what did I do... _

**

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****Okay, there it is, please review and tell me what you think. Thank you! **

**-Mary **


	8. She loves the sunrise the most

**Thanks to the few who reviewed, I appreciate it. **

**Some one wanted more Finn, so here is more Finn. **

**Disclaimer: I probably wouldn't be writing this if I owned Grey's Anatomy. **

* * *

Meredith was sitting on her couch watching the rain pouring down on the ground, making the soil and the grass soggy and damaged, and then leaving it to pick up the pieces.

_Okay, Meredith, damage control. When Derek comes out of the laundry room, let him sit, watch some TV, and wait for his clothes to dry. When they are all dry, just tell him you're tired and it's time to leave. _

Meredith nodded and stood up. She walked over to the window and watched to rain pour down, making puddles and little holes in the grass. She looked over to where the roof covered part of the grass and saw how warm, inviting and undamaged the grass looked.

_But Derek makes me happy, he is funny, and even though I have known him for three days, he knows me, more than Finn has ever gotten to know in one year. And, it doesn't hurt that Derek is really, really hot. And considerate. And will come to your house at three in the morning, in the rain, and get a dog that has found its way into your trash. But most importantly, Derek makes me feel weird. Good weird. A refreshing weird. Finn makes me feel awful. He's always making me do everything for him. And he's controlling. And way too overprotective. If he knew Derek was here right now, he'd flip a bitch. _

Derek made his way into the living room, and sat down on the couch. He was watching Meredith looking out the window. He just sat there and watched her, not wanting to disturb her calm. He noticed she looked on edge all night. That might have something to do with the dog outside, but even when he brought the dog in, she still seemed nervous and twitchy.

_What do I do, what do I do? _

Meredith turned around and instantly blue met blue. She just stood there, staring at Derek. No words were spoken. They didn't need words. They just stared, taking each other in. She was so mesmerized by his soft, yet masculine features. She looked into his eyes and found hurt, fear, and contentment. She loved his eyes. She could stare into them all day. She found herself never wanting to look into Finn's crazy blue eyes ever again. Finn's eyes were different, they didn't hold...

_Finn's eyes didn't hold what? _

Love.

_Finn's eyes didn't hold the love that Derek's held. Finn never and will never love me. _

Suddenly, a bolt of lightening accompanied with thunder shot through the night sky. Meredith jumped and let out a small yelp. She found herself in the darkness.

"Shit, shit, shit." Meredith said.

They still could see each other, even though the power went out, on account of the open window. The luminescent moon gave off a heavenly glow that played on Meredith's delicate features.

Derek's breath caught in his throat when he saw Meredith standing by the window, with the moonlight dancing on her face. "Um, it's okay, do you have any candles?"

"Yeah, let me go and get them." Meredith padded off into the kitchen and retrieved the candles and some matches, she almost left, but then got some wine, and two wine glasses. When she made her way back into the living room, she saw Derek sitting on the couch playing with the puppy. She set the candles down on the coffee table that was in front of the couch and quickly lit them and then poured some wine for both of them, and then took a seat next to Derek.

_Oh, my god, he is half-naked! _

"Here's some wine."

"Thanks." He took the glass, and drank some. "So did you pick a name for this little..."

He lifted the dog up in the air and looked under him, much like Meredith did only moments earlier.

"...guy?" Derek asked.

Meredith started laughing at how alike she and Derek were. When the giggling subsided, she answered, "I was thinking about calling him Bear."

"Hmmm... Bear?" The puppy stopped wriggling in Derek's hands and looked up at him. "I like it, nice and manly." Derek added with a laugh.

Meredith took a sip of her wine, and decided she wanted to know more about Derek.

"So, Derek, tell me about your family." She asked, "I feel like I know nothing about you and you know everything about me."

Derek laughed, "I can see where that can get a bit scary."

The three sat on the couch for hours talking about everything. Meredith wasn't feeling insecure or nervous anymore and Derek was glad about that. Meredith casually glanced outside and she saw the sun rising.

"Derek you have to come outside with me, and bring Bear." Meredith said as she stood up and grabbed Derek by the shirt he put on hours ago when it was done in the dryer.

"Why?" Derek asked, amused by her sudden rushed demeanor.

"Stop pouting and do it." She said when they got to the door.

"Okay." Meredith moved her hand from Derek's shirt to Derek's hand. They walked hand in hand outside onto Meredith's grass. They faced the east and got lost in the beauty of the oranges, reds, and yellows that was the sunrise. Derek squeezed Meredith's hand, and her head found a warm place on his shoulder. Before the sun found its position in the high in the sky, Meredith looked up into Derek's eyes. Derek looked down and met hers. Meredith found herself on her tip toes and Derek leaning down to reach her lips. They both closed their eyes and felt each other's lips connect. The duo felt the sparks and instant chemistry. Before Meredith felt the urge to slip Derek her tongue, she pulled away. They both opened their eyes and smiled at each other. Derek handed Meredith Bear.

"I guess I should get going." He said, not bothering to wipe the smile off his face.

"Yeah I guess you should." Meredith smiled. Derek gave Meredith a little hug, not wanting to disturb a sleeping Bear, and started to walk off to his car. "Oh, Derek, thank you for saving me."

Derek turned around and flashed her a smile, "My pleasure, Meredith."

With that, Meredith turned around and made her way back into her house. She went into her bedroom and deposited Bear on the floor and walked into her bathroom to take a shower. But before she could, she heard her cell phone ring. She picked it up and looked at the caller ID. It flashed Finn.

_Fuck... _

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****Okay, that was it, chapter eight. Please review, thanks! **

**-Mary**


	9. Eleven more days!

**Thank you for those who reviewed, I appreciate the support **

**Okay, so here is the ninth chapter. I'm sorry it's so short. **

**This will also be the last chapter I do until September 6****th****. I'm sorry, but im moving into a new apartment, and I wont have internet access until then. Please hang in there with me until then, thank you. **

**Disclaimer: Ugh, it's so sad isn't it? I don't own the show. **

* * *

Meredith looked at the phone for a couple of seconds more.

_I should answer it. I have ignored all his other calls. _

"Hello?"

"Hey, Meri, it's me!"

_God, I hate it when he calls me that! _

"Who is me?" Meredith asked with a smile.

"It's Finn!"

"Oh! Yeah! Hey, what's going on?" Meredith asked

"Nothing, why haven't you answered any of my calls?"

_Because I have been busy kissing Derek, duh! _

"Oh, um, I was always in the other room?"

"Really? Ten times?" Finn wondered.

_Jeeze, he's so needy _

"Well, I was with Cristina sometimes and I wouldn't want to be rude."

"Huh, I guess..."

"So why did you call"" Meredith asked.

"Oh, um, I just wanted to let you know that I might be out here longer."

_Yes!_

"How much longer?"

"Um, a week?"

Meredith was so excited.

"Is that okay?" Finn asked hesitantly.

"Yes!" Meredith said too happily.

"Because I can just come home on Friday, like I was supposed to."

"No! I mean, no, you don't have to, it's okay, I'm fine."

_Because you're not here. _

"Oh, well, okay then." Finn sounded dejected.

"Okay then."

_This is awkward... _

"All right, I should get back, I have to go to a vet meeting."

_Sounds like shit... _

"Sounds like fun, I should let you go, you have a lot of work to do. Bye!"

"Bye, Meri, I lo-"

Meredith hung up the phone before he could profess his love for her. She couldn't take it, she didn't love him and hated when he said it to her.

_Wow, a whole week more, so that's eleven more days without pony boy, yes! _

_

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_

**Okay, there it is, sorry it's so short, it was just filler. **

**And, again, sorry I can't update this until the 6th, please be patient, and don't abandon this fic. **

**Please, please review, thanks! **

**-Mary**


	10. No sleep tonight?

**Thank you to the few of you who reviewed, I love your feed back. **

**I know I said the sixth, and today is the fifteenth, I assure you, I wanted to update, but Time Warner left my house without putting internet on my computer. So, here is chapter ten, and I'm sorry it's not that long. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's Anatomy, then I wouldn't stop everything just to watch a promo for season four. **

* * *

Meredith has always been a heavy sleeper.

_BANG!!! _

For as long as she could remember, she has slept through the best and most interesting things. Like that huge earthquake that shook her house at three in the morning when she was eleven years old. She felt so left out when her friends at school the next day talked non-stop about the huge quake that shook them out of their warm snuggly beds the morning before.

_CRASH!!! _

She was always late to school because she could never hear her annoying buzz on the alarm she used. It never, however, failed to wake her nanny up at six thirty in the morning. Elizabeth the Nanny always came rushing in to shut it off and shake Meredith from her deep sleep.

_CLICK! _

Over the years, Meredith has become a lighter sleeper, but it obviously didn't help much. She didn't even wake up when her snores got so loud that Finn had to leave the room to sleep on the couch.

_CLICK! _

Meredith didn't even react when the man entered her room, took her blanket off her, picked her up, and cradled her in his arms. The man proceeded to walk out of her room, then out the front door. He opened the passenger door to his car, deposited her in the front seat, slammed the door closed, and went to the driver's seat and took off.

And she didn't even flinch.

**

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****Okay, sorry it isn't much, but there it is. Please review and tell me what you think. Thank you.**

**Mary**


	11. Riding in cars with boys

**Thanks to the few who reviewed, you know who you are. And welcome to the newbies just finding it. Thank you for picking my fic. **

**I know this hasn't been updated forever. I apologize for that. School is kicking my ass and then I got sick. I'm all better now, and I finally got a chance to write when I had no homework. **

**Disclaimer: Nope. **

_

* * *

__Bump, Bump. _

Meredith slept soundly in the passenger seat of a car she has never been in. Every few seconds, the stranger driving the car would look to his right to the woman drooling slightly mumbling incoherently in her sleep.

_Bump, Bump. _

When the digital clock in the man's car showed it was 3 am, he turned his cd player on, just slightly as to not awake the goddess in his car. When she didn't wake up, the mystery man smiled and kept on driving.

_Thirty minutes later... _

As he made his way back to his car from the 24-hour mini-mart with a bag of groceries in his arms, he noticed that Meredith still was asleep in his car. He couldn't believe she was still sleeping. He opened his door, put the groceries in the back seat, turned his cd player on, and drove off.

_Another thirty minutes later... _

The man stopped his car, put the emergency brake on, and positioned himself so he can look at the sleeping Meredith. Even though her head was facing the window, and he couldn't see her face, he could see how beautiful she was. It was still dark outside, but he took in her pretty blondish-brown curly locks and her flawless skin. He knew she was beautiful, but she was even more so when she was asleep. Her arm moved slightly and so did her leg. He heard her breathing becoming labored and irregular.

She was awake.

---

Meredith never had dreams. She always went to bed and woke up with the same thought. That was before she met Derek.

In the three days she met him, she had the craziest, most outrageous dreams. She dreamt about living with him, marrying him, having kids with him, and growing old with Dr. Derek Shepherd. Nowadays, she always woke up with a huge smile on her face. She loved having those dreams, and she didn't care that she was with Finn.

But this morning was different. This morning, she didn't wake up in her bed. This morning, she woke up to a crick in her neck and a viewful of dark, what looked like to be, trees. She closed her eyes real fast.

_Oh shit, I hate when I don't wake up in my bed and I don't know where I am. _

Meredith opened one eye. She moved it around and learned she was in a car. She closed it again.

_Okay, settle down, Mer. All you have to do is open the door, call the police, and go home. _

She opened one eye again and looked down at herself. Pajamas.

_If I have my pajamas on, then I probably don't have my purse with me. No purse, no phone. _

She closed her eye again and took a deep breath.

_Okay, new game plan. Open the door and start running. _

She opened one eye and looked outside.

_Trees, no houses. So where do I run to? Hmm... What to do, what to do..._

Then she heard a chuckle. A manly chuckle. This time both of her eyelids shot up.

_There is some one else in the car with me? _

She heard the laugh again.

"Mer..."

She closed her eyes.

_Oh, shit... _

**

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****Okay, not so long, but its kinda filler, I guess. I promise the next chapter will be longer. Please review! Thank you. **

**-Mary**


	12. You kidnapped me!

**Thanks for the reviews, I love your feedback. **

**I know, I know, I'm the worst fan fic writer ever. This was supposed to be up on Thursday, but some one stole $22 from me, that's including my bus fare, so I didn't even get home until twenty minutes before Grey's started. Then the next day, some one stole my cell phone. Sorry about that. **

_

* * *

_

_Oh, shit... _

Merdith couldn't believe it. He kidnapped her! She bolted upright in her seat and whipped her head towards him. She found herself yelling, moving her hands everywhere, and leaning into his face.

All the while with a small smile on her face.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?! You kidnapped me! Who does that?! You know, people just call, or wirte a letter, or even send a freaking carrier pidgeon. But you!" Meredith's face was now turing red, "You! You kidnap people! You're a freak! You have big problems, mister." Meredith sat back a little. The man on the receiving end didn't move a muscle. His small grin even got a little wider. He was expecting this.

"But I won." He replied calmly.

"But you won wh-..." Meredith stopped herself as she remembered what her old friend had won. "Oh my god!" She yelled, "ALEX!"

----

_Ding Dong _

Derek stood there, on Meredith's front porch waiting for her to come to the door. He was wearing jeans, a black pullover sweater, a white collared shirt underneath, and a smile. He was excited to see her and had a whole day planned for them. When she didn't come to the door, he rang the doorbell again.

_Ding Dong _

He stood there for two more minutes waiting for her. He started to get worried, so he pulled his phone out and called her's. While waiting for her to answer, he leaned against the house and casually looked in her window that showed her living room. He saw her phone vibrating on the coffee table. Frowning, he hung up and looked out to the front at her car.

"What the hell?"

He turned around again growing worried and tried her front door. He was surprised that it was unlocked.

----

It has been hours since Meredith has woken up. She and Alex since then have gotten out the car and watched the sunrise as they ate powered donuts and drank chocolate milk. They sat on a blanket in the thick of beautiful trees in a grassy pasture. They were content just to sit there. No words have been passed between the two.

Ever since Alex's daughter, Lily, threw some yellow paint at one of the boys' face in Meredith classroom five years ago, and Meredith had to call Lily's parents, Meredith took an instant liking to Alex. The two have been friends ever since.

It was now eleven o'clock and Meredith was growing restless. She started to fidget on the blanket to get into a more comfortable position. Alex looked at her and asked, "What's wrong with you? Stop moving."

"Shut up, I'm still mad at you for kidnapping me."

Alex let out a laugh. "You're just mad because I won." He smiled. "You were so scared, you should of seen your face."

"You didn't win, I wasn't scared." For as long as she could remember, Alex, Meredith, and Alex's wife, Izzie, had an ongoing tradition of scaring the shit out of each other during Halloween time. It started when Meredith decided she was going to use her spare key to Alex and Izzie's house to "break in" and scare them by dressing up as a burglar with a ski mask and a huge fake knife. Things went awry when she tripped and fell in the dark and let out a cry right as Alex and Izzie were walking in the door. The couple found Meredith sitting on the floor of the kitchen with a bag of ice on her ankle. Alex and Izzie got her back, though. They led Meredith to believe she had an obsessed stalker. Meredith was scared shitless, but then she found out it was Alex giving her letters and Izzie sending her flowers. Ever since, they have been playing these pranks on each other. "And it's the middle of June. You're four months off, idiot."

"I know, I just got bored."

"Why? Where's Izzie? She doesn't care that you're abducting other women at three in the morning?"

Alex laughed, "No, I wish..." Meredith gave Alex a slap on his arm.

"Watch it, you hurt her and I'll-..."

"I know, I know, you'll lock me, Cristina, and a bat in a room for two hours." Meredith smiled. "Settle down, I was kidding. Iz and Lil are at some 'Mommy and Me' sleepover for Girl Scouts or something. I can't sleep without Izzie, so I thought I would kidnap you!"

"Funny," Meredith said dryly. "But I'm getting bored just sitting here. Either talk or take me home."

Alex checked his watch, "It's eleven thirty, how about we talk on the way home. I have to pick up Izzie and Lily at two."

"Fine by me." Meredith replied. "But can I use your phone to check my messages?"

Alex dug in his pocked for his cell phone. "Oh, are we expecting anyone special?"

_Derek _

"Um, Finn?"

"Oh god, pony boy? You're still with him? Jeeze Mer, he is so weird! Who waits until marriage, but then moves in with his girlfriend? That's torture! Oh! And don't even get me started on those man-sweaters..."

"Shut up!" Meredith laughed.

Alex smiled. "Green used to be my favorite color, and he ruined it for me." Alex leaned forward, phone in hand, "Mer, take my advice and dump pony boy already."

Meredith snatched the phone out of his hand, "Okay, its enough you, and Izzie, and Cristina, and Mark call him that, but teaching little innocent Lily to call him 'Uncle Pony' is just wrong!" Meredith said smiling while standing, "Now, clean this mess up!"

"Why me?"

"Cuz you kidnapped me!"

"Fine!"

Meredith walked around until she got some service and proceeded to call her phone. On the second ring, and to her surprise, someone answered.

"Hello?" The man asked.

_What the fuck?_

"Um... Hello?" A confused Meredith asked. "Who is this?"

"Who is _this_?" The man asked playfully, recognizing the voice on the other end.

"You're the one with my phone." _And in my house..._

"And in your house. Can't forget that." He replied. "It makes this about ten times scarier." He added with a whisper.

_Shit, shit, shit... _

"Um, listen..." Meredith trailed off looking for a name.

"Derek"

"Listen Derek, it's very rude and unappealing to break..." Meredith stopped.

_Derek? _

"Derek?"

"Meredith."

With that, she hung up.

----

"Thanks Alex, I had a great time."

"That's what they all say."

Meredith shot him a glare. "I didn't hear that. Tell Izzie I miss her and she needs to call me. And tell Lily Auntie Mer says hi."

Alex did his best fake excited smile, "And Uncle Pony too?!"

"Shut up!" Meredith laughed. She exited the car and said, "I like the new car. It suits you."

"Oh, yeah, my dream car has always been a huge mini van."

As Meredith made her way up to the front door, she noticed Derek's car parked behind her's in the driveway. She smiled. It then turned into a frown seconds later.

_Shit, shit, shit! My hair! And I have no make up on! Oh my god, my breath smells like donuts! _

Before she could do anything about her appearance, her front door flung open.

**

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**

**Mary**


	13. Bad manners are fun, sometimes

**Thanks for the reviews, I love your feedback. **

**Happy Grey's day! **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's Anatomy, then I probably wouldn't be writing this.**

**

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**

Meredith stood there, on her front porch, looking at... no one.

_The ghosts are back! _

Meredith smiled to herself as she walked into her house and looked around.

"Derek?"

"Welcome home, Mer."

She turned aroung with a giggle. There, before her, stood Derek. His hair was disheveled, his eyes were bloodshot, and he had some white powder on the tip of his nose and around his mouth.

"Why are you laughing me?" Derek asked with a faux look of hurt on his face.

She walked inches from his tall, muscular body and replied, "Either you were doing lines of cocaine, or you found my donuts." She made a show of looking into the living room. "I don't see any razors or mirrors, so I'm guessing the latter." She giggle again. Meredith stood on her tip toes and wiped the powder off Derek's nose and face. She regained her normal height and...

_Oh my god, why did i just do that?! What the hell is wrong with me? He probably thinks I'm desperate and crazy! _

Derek looked at her and smiled. He bent down and kissed her nose lightly. He cupped her face with his palm and grazed his thumb over her cheek, "Thank you, Meredith."

"Oh... um, yeah... you're welcome."

_Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god... _

Derek chuckled slightly as he walked into the kitchen, "Why don't you go and get dressed and do whatever else you need to do. Then, when you come back, we need to talk about your manners, young lady."

----

15 minutes later, Meredith is dressed and out of the shower. She put some mascara one and walked into the kitchen. She didn't understand when Derek said something about her manners. Wasn't he the one who broke into her house?

She walked into the sight of Derek eating a chip, leaning over the counter reading a Home and Garden magazine. He looked up and smiled at her, then went back to the article he was reading. She went into her refrigerator and got out a bottle of water. She stood opposite Derek and tried some of the salsa he made. "So," Meredith said, "I have bad manners?"

Derek smiled and looked up. "Yes you do." He took a step to his left, Meredith's right.

"What are you talking about?" Meredith asked.

Derek took another step towards her. "It's worse if I have to tell you."

"You sound like a woman."

Derek stopped in his tracks. "I'm not a woman." He dropped his voice to a whisper, "Wanna check?"

Meredith giggled, "No, that's disgusting."

One more step. "So anyway, you don't remember when we were on the phone earlier, and I was talking and you so rudely hung up on me?" Derek took another step and he was about two inches from Meredith's body. They were dangerously close. Derek lightly tugged on Meredith's hair and put a stray piece behind her ear. "I was really sad. I started crying." Derek and Meredith smiled. "So what do you expect we should do about this?"

"Um, uh... I don't know."

Derek cupped her face again, and stared into her eyes, "I have a suggestion." Derek's grin grew wider. "But, I don't know if you would like it." He moved closer so her chest was touching his, "But you would never find out, if you didn't try."

"Um, I..."

Before she could finish her thought, Derek dipped his head down and captured her lips in his. He moved his other hand so both of them were on her face. Both of their eyes fluttered shut and her hands found the back of his neck, where his curls ended. She pulled on them lightly, and weaved her fingers through them. Derek's tongue grazed her bottom lip and Meredith allowed acess. As their tongues explored each other's mouths, Derek's cool hands found Meredith's warm, bare stomach. Meredith was surprised at the contact and groaned a bit. She moved her hands to his toned chest, and Derek moved his to the small of her back, and pulled her closer to him. Meredith's eyes rolled into the back of her head and her toes curled. She felt content in Derek's arms.

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**Okay, chapter thirteen, please review, thank you!**

**Mary **

**Oh, and if there are any mistakes, or if something looks like its missing, please tell me, I have noticed this in some of my other chapters. Thank you!**


	14. I trust you

**Thank you to the few of you who reviewed. It looks like only two of you reading this, but I will continue, because one of you said please. **

**Caterpillar- I thought the last episode was great, also. I love that it looks like Derek and Mark are slowly regaining their relationship, even though Mark screwed him over.**

**Okay, here is another update. I'm sorry the chapters are so short, I'm so busy all the time, but I will try my hardest to make them longer.**

_I am the worst girlfriend ever... _

Meredith was lying in her bed, staring at her ceiling. It was ten in the morning and she couldn't bring herself to get out of bed. The idea of staying bed all day sounded way more appealing than getting up and taking a shower, and doing the errands she needed to run.

_I'm such a whore... _

Meredith laughed aloud at that one.

_Are you a whore if you haven't had sex in a year? _

She threw herself around in her bed. Now, she was facing the window.

_Nine more days. I have started a countdown until my "boyfriend" comes home. But not a good countdown. A bad one. I am such a bad girlfriend. _

Meredith rolled over in her bed. She was now face down, on Finn's pillow. It was the oddest thing. She elevated herself with her hands and stared down at the pillow. "Huh." She let herself go again, her face was in the pillow again. She could of sworn she smelt the faintest smell of Derek in her bed. Which was, of course impossible because they were just friends.

_Right? Are we just friends? Sexy friends? Friends who make out in the kitchen? What if I thought of this "friend" as more than a friend? _

Meredith was now clinging onto the pillow that she thought smelt like Derek.

_God! I hate men! They are so confusing! First you find an okay guy, who asks you to move in with him, then he has these stupid rules in bed! I can't even touch him! I don't move all night. Geeze, I hate Finn. He's such an asshole. _

Suddenly, Meredith threw the pillow across the room, realizing it didn't smell like Derek at all, but it was Finn's scent. She ran into the bathroom that was connected to her room, and emptied the contents of her stomach.

"I am the worst girlfriend ever." Meredith said aloud to her reflection in the mirror.

----

Meredith walked into her house with a large amount of shopping bags in her arms. She was struggling to not to drop them all. She was looking down at all her bags, making sure she got them all, when she ran into something. She promptly dropped all her bags and jumped about a foot in the air.

Meredith screamed, "Oh shit!" She looked up and saw Derek's eyes twinkling down at her. He had a grin on his face. "God, Derek, you scared me half to death! You really need to stop breaking into my house." She paused and looked down. "Wait, how did you even get in here?"

Derek laughed a little as he bent down to get the shopping bags and the contents that fell out of them. "Meredith, it's not a good idea to put a spare key under the mat."

_Finn's idea._

"I know."

"Then why did you put one there?"

"Because Fi-" Meredith paused and looked at Derek.

_I can't tell him. If I tell him, it will all be over. I can't hurt him. I can't... I... _

"Meredith?"

"Oh, um, what?"

Derek looked at her with concern in his eyes. She looked like she was lost and confused. They just stared at each other, each with their respective secrets. Secrets that would hurt the other. Secrets that would make the other eternally happy. Secrets that would shock and surprise the other. A secret that would determine their fate.

Derek just smiled at her, but it was a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Oh, nothing. It's okay."

When all of her purchases were picked up from off the ground, they both stood and set them down on the counter in the kitchen. Derek looked at Meredith once more. "Um, is, um everything all right, Mer?"

Meredith looked back at Derek's beautiful blue orbs. She trusted him, already. She trusted the man before her, and she hasn't even known him for a week. Meredith wanted nothing more than to truthful with the man she trusted, but she knew she couldn't be. She wanted to run into his arms, and cry her eyes out and tell him everything. But she didn't know how he would react. Would he take her into his strong arms and protect her from everything, and tell her everything would be all right? Or, would he scream and yell, and walk out the door, to never see her again? That was a chance she couldn't or wouldn't take. She was fighting an internal battle that she knew she would never win.

As the tears pooled up in her eyes, Meredith looked up at the man in her kitchen. The tears glistened in the setting sun, making her eyes gleam. She lied to him and said, "Yeah, Derek, everything is fine."

Derek stepped closer to her, "You're lying to me." Meredith blinked and the crystal tears cascaded down her cheeks. Derek wrapped his arms around her and she instantly relaxed in his embrace. He dropped a kiss on Meredith's head and said, "If you want to talk about it, you know you can trust me, right?" Meredith nodded her head against his chest. "But you don't want to, huh?" Meredith shook her head in a negitive response. "Okay, that's fine with me."

They stood like that for a few minutes longer, while Meredith's tears stopped. "Meredith, I'm going to carry you to bed now. Is that okay?" Meredith nodded her head yes. "Okay, but I did actually come here to ask you a question, but it's okay, I'm going to let you rest, is that fine?" Meredith nodded again. "Okay."

They pulled apart and Derek bent down a bit to catch Meredith in the backside of her knees and on her back. Her head found a resting spot in the crook of Derek's neck. He walked into her room and deposited her on the bed. He went to the foot of the bed, removed her shoes, then pulled the blankets up to her stomach. Derek paused and smiled down at her. He grazed his thumb against her cheek and bent down to kiss her forehead. "Okay, Mer, call me on my cell if you need anything. Are you comfortable?" She answered him with a nod. "Okay, I'm gonna go now." He bent down again, and kissed her cheek. "I'll see you soon, Meredith." With that, he walked out of her room, then exited the house.

When she heard the front door close, Meredith's eyes welled up again, and the tears started all over agian.

* * *

**Okay, I know this wasn't what you were expecting, but it was necessary for Meredith to realize her true feelings towards Derek. I promise the next chapter will be better. **

**Please update! Thank you. **

**-Mary**


	15. STEAK!

**Awesome reviews, thanks. **

**Okay, I know the last chapter kinda sucked because it was so sad. This chapter will be better, I hope. Oh, and if anyone doesn't understand something, just ask me and I will try to explain myself better. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's, Izzie and George would of been together a long time ago.**

**

* * *

**

_Eight days 'till doom. _

After last night, Meredith was stuck in her bed feeling depressed and guilty. It was noon and Meredith didn't move a muscle. She awoke from her deep sleep at nine in the morning. She couldn't stop thinking about Derek and how he took such good care of her last night.

_He derserves better. I can't give him what he wants. I need to tell him about Finn. He's wasting his time with me._

Twenty minutes ago, she heard her phone vibrate on the kitchen counter. She didn't get up, and she didn't want to know who it was. She just wanted to curl up in a ball in her bed and lay there forever. Meredith drifted to sleep in her frenzied state of mind.

----

Meredith awoke twenty minutes later. She looked up at her ceiling and sighed. Before she could think anything, she heard her front door open and close.

_Hmmm... I wonder who that could be. _

She listened as the person closed the door behind themselves. The intruder walked into the kitchen, and shuffled around some. Then it went silent.

Meredith turned over to face the window, her back towards the door.

_He shouldn't be here. He needs to know... I'm going to tell him. _

Meredith got lost in her thoughts.

Her bedroom door opened.

She didn't move.

The person walked around the bed to look at Meredith face to face.

She didn't move.

He bent down and looked at her in the eyes.

She didn't move.

He smiled a small smile and stood up again.

She didn't move.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, put the things in his hands down on the nightstand, and took his shoes off.

She still remained unfazed.

He adjusted the pillows on Finn's side of the bed and sat down, getting under the covers with her.

Meredith finally sat up and moved her legs towards her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees. She moved her head over to look at the man in her bed. The man looked over at her, too. He smiled a small smile again, but with no emotion behind it. She smiled back, and moved her head to his shoulder. "What are you doing here, Derek?"

"I'm here to take care of you, Mer."

Meredith lifted her head from its resting place and looked into his eyes. She saw fear and concern. She loved his dark blue eyes from the moment she saw them in the grcoery store to the instant they turned navy with sadness last night. She loved his eyes, but right now, she wanted nothing more than to turned them blue again. Right now, they weren't blue. They were grey. Grey represented the numbness he felt when she was crying. Grey represented the sadness he felt when she was torn up over something he didn't understand, something he didn't know anything about. Meredith smiled at him. She placed her cold, numb hand in his warm, strong one and squeezed as hard as she could.

"Why? Why do you want to take care of me, Derek?"

It was Derek's turn to look deep into her eyes, into her heart. He saw a hurt little girl, struggling to find happiness. He wanted to help her, to fix her, he wanted to figure out what was wrong with her so he could hear her giggle again.

"Because, Mer, I care about you. I want to see you happy." Meredith smiled.

"Thank you, Derek." She stood up and walked to the attached bathroom. She brushed her teeth, then returned to her warm bed.

----

"... And the next thing I knew, there was yellow paint flying through the air, right into this little boy's face!"

Derek let out a big laugh as he listened to Meredith talk about her students in her classroom. The two sat side by side on her queen bed under the covers, eating the ice cream Derek brought over. Meredith eating strawberry, and Derek eating coffee. Every once in a while they would switch their little pints of ice cream so they could get a taste of each others'.

Derek listened in while she told her story of meeting Alex. Before that, Meredith told him how she met Cristina. Derek loved listening to her talk, even if it was about people he didn't know, but he didn't mind. Meredith cared about these people, and he cared for her.

----

"So do you ever want kids?" Meredith asked Derek. They both migrated to the foot of the bed, Derek laying on his back, Meredith with her head on his chest. She had her hand resting over his heart, like she was protecting it. He was playing with her long, curly locks with his. Both of them were barefoot and playing with each others' feet. Her left leg was in between his legs. They both wore huge smiles on their faces.

"Um, yeah, well, sure, maybe... someday."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I love kids."

"You do?"

"Yeah, why are you so surprised?"

"I don't know, you just don't seem like the guy who would have kids." Meredith paused, "Sorry if that was kinda rude, its just I just met you, and I was just curious, and you're a neurosurgeon, you know, macho..." Meredith trailed off, she knew she was rambling, which is why she stopped. "Now, I'm rambling. I'm sorry."

Derek laughed a little. "It's okay. I guess I sometimes give off that impression. Guys like me who have this much muscle and masculinity don't really look like they could hug and kiss a child while they put them to bed, huh?" Meredith laughed at him, but didn't say anything about his huge ego. "But seriously, yeah I want kids. I want to be there to witness a first smile, first laugh, first word, first time they crawl, first time they walk, I want to witness all the firsts in a person's life. I want to be able to get up in the morning and hug my son or daughter. I want to be called daddy. I want to feel that pride of when I go to a tee-ball game or ballet recital. I want to create a person and raise it, you know? I want to read the bedtime story, kiss their boo boos, take care of them when they're sick. I want to teach my child everything I know, I want to protect them form the world, and kill anyone who hurts them. I want to feel the love a parent feels for their child." Derek paused. "But, most importantly, I want to share it with someone special."

_Wow... _

----

"What were you like in highschool?" Derek asked Meredith who was lying on her side of the bed, now with Derek's head on her stomach. She was playing with his unruly curls. He was staring at the ceiling. "I bet you were a little nerd."

Meredith laughed at this. Truth was, she didn't really remember highschool much. Or, she didn't want to remember.

"Um... I wasn't that big of a nerd. I wore a lot of black."

"Oh, you were that girl in highschool. Enough said." Derek smiled, and moved his head so his ear was on her stomach and smiled her.

----

"What were your parents like, Derek?"

"Well, my mom died giving birth to me, so I never met her." Meredith looked up at her position in Derek's arms. They were both on their sides facing each other, Meredith lying with her head in his chest, his arms around her.

She looked into his eyes to see hurt and pain, but they were strong and brave. "I'm so sorry, Derek." She buried her head in his chest and hugged him tight.

"It's okay. I have heard a lot of stories about her, she was a good person. She loved to take care of my sisters. I'm just sad I never got to meet her." Derek paused, "But my dad was so good when I started asking about her. We became best friends. He took me to my first Yankee's game and when he caught a homerun, he let me hold it the rest of the game. I still have that baseball. It's one of my best and favorite memories of my father. I knew it was hard for my father to raise us all by himself, but he was strong. That's where I get my confidence from. He died when I was eighteen. He had brain tumor that none of us knew about. He collasped all alone in his big house. I found him in his bedroom, but it was too late." Derek paused. "We had an autopsy done and the doctors found it."

"Is that why you became a neurosurgeon?"

"That's why I became a neurosurgeon." Derek confirmed.

----

"If you were stranded on a deserted island, what three things would you bring with you?"

"Wait, why would I be on a deserted island? And why would I even go? I mean, to go willingly is kinda stupid. I think that is one of the stupidest questions I have ever been asked!"

"..."

"Derek?"

"..."

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'll answer."

"Okay, but there is one rule." Derek said excitedly, "You can't bring a cell phone or a laptop."

"Okay, lemme think."

A few seconds passed.

"Wait, is this a tropical island, or a desert island?"

"Tropical."

"Okay." Meredith nodded. "Is there anyone else on the island with me, or am I alone?"

"You are alone, now answer!" Derek was growing impatient.

Meredith looked up at Derek and started to fidget. He was lying on her side of the bed and she was lying at the foot of the bed looking at the ceiling. She was looking around and back at Derek.

"Are you gonna answer?"

"I, um, I, uh, have another question." Meredith said in a quiet, low voice.

Derek laughed a bit. "If you have another question, just ask it." He shoved her lightly in the stomach with his foot. "Just no more after this one."

"Okay, are there any animals on this island?"

"No, it's just you."

"Okay."

Suddenly, Meredith sat up on the bed. "I think I have it!"

"Okay, shoot."

"My favorite book, _The Sun Also Rises, _a pocketknife, and an extra shirt, in case the other one gets dirty, or something."

Derek laughed loudly. "How you expect to survive with a book and an extra shirt?"

Meredith lied back down, "Well, what would you bring, wise ass?"

Derek smiled, "It's not what would I bring, it's who would I bring?"

Meredith smiled back.

----

Meredith was still lying on her back when she looked up at the nightstand, "Oh, shit! We have been talking for like five hours!"

Derek checked his watch, "Wow, you're right, it's five thirty."

"Yeah, and I'm getting hungry."

"Where do you want to go?"

Meredith suddendly jumped up off the bed and ran into her closet. "STEAK!"

Derek shook his head slightly and laughed a little. He was about to get off the bed to give Meredith some privacy to change when he heard his name.

"Derek! Can you come in here?"

Derek walked into Meredith's small walk in closet and stopped in his tracks, with his mouth hanging open. Meredith standing on her tip toes trying to get a shoe box off the top shelf, only in her bra and panties. Derek just stared. He took in her perfect porcelain skin, and her graceful curves. He just kept staring. He couldn't take his eyes off her perfect form. She awoke him from his trance when she turned towards him and asked, "Derek, could you get that box down?"

He took a long step and closed the small space between the two. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him. He smuthered her lips with his. Meredith, surprised by the contact, nearly fell, and put her hands on his chest for support. When she realized what was happening, she gladly opened her mouth for his pressing tongue and moved her hands to the back of his neck. His hands moved lower, lower, lower until they crossed over the small bump that was her bottom to her upper thighs and hoisted her up against the wall. She wrapped her legs around him and he walked back into the bedroom. Their lips never broke contact. He dropped her gently on the bed and joined her. Soon, their clothes became no obstacle.

All night, they made love. The two came together and became one. They weren't ashamed to share all their secrets with each other. They saw into each others' souls. The two never took their eyes off one another. They made sweet, passionate love for hours throughout the night. They fell apart when the sun started to shine through the windows, the duo was exhausted. Derek held Meredith gently in his arms, her head buried in his chest. He lay awake, listening to her breathe, feeling her rapid heartbeat against his chest. He tightened her grip around her and fell asleep. They both slept peacefully in each others' arms.

Hours later, one of them awoke and looked at the other, and smiled. As this person fought to stay awake, they muttered those three little words anyone would love to hear.

"I love you."

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**Okay, that was a loooong-ass chapter. And I loved writing it. It was... fun. Okay, so review, tell me what you think. Thanks! **

**-Mary aka Shonda Jr.**


	16. Happiness killer

**Thanks to the two of you who reviewed. I love hearing your opinions. Oh, and to answer your question, they did use protection, I know, boring, but a baby doesn't fit into the story. Not yet, at least...**

**Okay, I know, this hasn't been updated since last Sunday. And I am sorry. But I came down with a touch of writer's block.**

**So, here is chapter 15. The morning after. **

**Disclaimer: I... no. **

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_Seven days... _

Meredith woke up curled up against Derek with a smile gracing her mouth. She moved her head to look at Derek, but only slightly, as to not wake him up. When she saw he was staring back down at her, she smiled, and buried her head back in his chest. Derek laughed and tightened his embrace on her.

"No taking it back now."

Meredith giggled. "No, I would never want to take it back." She paused, "I just... I, um..."

"You what? What's wrong? Do you have some big bad secret or something?"

_I'm screwed. _

"Um, no." Meredith laughed nervously.

"Well...?"

_God, could this go any worse? _

"Well nothing. I'm glad you're in my bed."

Derek smiled down at her. "I'm glad I'm in your bed, too."

"Good, then, um, we are on the same page."

"Yeah." Derek said somewhat puzzeled. "So wh-?"

Derek was interrupted by the very annoying beeping sound of the happiness killer. He let go of Meredith and grabbed his pager out of his pants that were thrown carelessly on the floor last night.

"You have to go into the hospital?"

"I'm afraid so. There was a small car crash, but a little girl is having seizures every ten minutes, so they need me. I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay, I understand." Derek rolled back over to where Meredith was waiting and looked down at her.

"I promise I won't be too long, okay?" Meredith nodded. Derek gave her a little peck on the lips and got out of her bed. "Maybe I can actually take you out to get that steak tonight."

Meredith got out of bed, wearing Derek's shirt and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head on his bare chest. He kissed the top of her head and hugged her back. "Okay, maybe tonight we won't get sidetracked like last night and get to eat." Meredith giggled. She stepped out of his embrace and took his shirt off her tiny frame.

"Round five?" Derek asked as he stared down at her perfect form.

Meredith giggled again, as she held out the shirt for him to take. "No, I would think that you wouldn't want to go out in the rain without a shirt." Meredith said as she threw the shirt over his head. She started to walk into the bathroom. "I know I have perfect boobs, but you don't have to stare."

"Shit." Derek said under his breath as he threw his clothes on, his pants backwards. "Um, I'll be back as soon as I can, Mer!"

----

Meredith sat in her bathtub, fully clothed, reading a book. She couldn't concentrate. She kept thinking about the men in her life. Especially the man that wasn't in her bed last night.

_Okay, this is what I do. I wait until Finn comes back, break up with him, and in the meantime, keep having Derek induced orgasms. _

"Okay, that sounds fine." Merdith said aloud to herself. She went back to reading her book for a couple of minutes.

_But what if Derek finds out? I mean, Finn's shit is everywhere. I'm surprised he hasn't found out yet. So I have to tell Derek? _

"Shit, shit, shit." Meredith slumped down in her tub, hitting herself on the head with her book. "I'm so confused."

"Meredith! I'm back!" The voiced echoed through her house. She instantly recognized the voice as Derek's and her face lit up.

_I have to tell him... _

"Where are you, Mer?"

Meredith shot up in the tub, and opened her book to some random page. "In the bathroom."

"Oh, I'll just wait."

"No, it's okay, come on in."

"What?"

Meredith giggled. "Just do it."

The door opened just slightly and in walked Derek with his hand over his eyes. Meredith laughed again. "Derek take your hand down."

He took his hand down and was about to ask her what she was doing in the bathtub with no water in it and all her clothes on, but stopped himself and just got in with her. He sat on the opposite side, her legs on either side of him. He let out a sigh and dipped his head back.

"How is the little girl?"

"What?" Derek lifted his head up and looked her. "Oh, the girl in the car crash?"

"Yeah, what happened?"

"Well, I got there and gave her a CT and a MRI and found out that half of her brain was literally dead." Meredith gasped. "Yeah, so I had to cut out the dead part, which is really dangerous. But since she is so young, it will grow back again. So, long story short, she made it through surgery and she will be fine. She has a long road of recovery ahead of her though, but she's strong, she'll pull through." Derek paused and let out a sigh. "I just hate operating on kids, you know?"

Meredith just nodded, comforted in the silence. "What is her name?"

Derek closed his eyes and tried to remember. It wasn't that he didn't care, it was just he was so wrapped up in the long, invasive surgery, and he just couldn't recall. "Um, oh! I think it was Bonnie."

"Bonnie, I like that name. It's cute."

"Yeah." Meredith looked at the man before her. He had huge bags under his eyes, and his hair was sticking out in all different directions.

"Stand up." Meredith ordered.

"What?"

Meredith got out of the bathtub, looked down at him, and stuck her hand out to help him up. He grabbed her hand and got up and out of the tub. Meredith stood on her tip toes and gave him a hug. "You're tired." She whispered in his ear.

"Yeah." He said back softly taking in her flowery scent.

"Do you want to go take a nap, then go to dinner?"

"Yes please."

"Okay." Meredith regained her normal height and led him to the bedroom, his hand in her's. When they got to the bedroom, she turned around, slipped her hands underneath his shirt and lifted it up over his head. She was staring into his eyes, and he was looking back into her's. He sat down on the side of the bed and she bent down and took his shoes off. He stood once again and gave her a hug. She hugged him back and felt the tears prickling the back of her eyes. She stepped away and turned her attention to his jeans. She gently undid the button, then unzipped the zipper. He stepped out of them and laid back down on the bed. She sat down on the side and looked into his eyes once more. She smoothed back his hair and gave him a peck on the lips. She stood up and started to walk out of the room when she felt strong warm hands wrap around her waist and pull her back to bed.

"Stay with me."

"Okay." She whispered back. "I'll stay with you." She felt the warm tears drop from her eyes, down her cheeks. "I promise, I'll stay with you."

_I promise to try... _

----

Meredith was looking at the rise and fall of Derek's large chest.

_I don't want to leave him. _

He was still sleeping, and it was seven o'clock. She was getting hungry. She moved her side and was about to wake him up when it happened again, for the second time that day.

_You have got to be freaking kidding me!_

He awoke with a start and looked around. He sighed and reached over to the nightstand and looked at his pager. He turned back and found Meredith's eyes looking back to him.

"You have to go."

"Yes. I have to go. I'm so sorry. I don't want to go, but I have to."

Meredith looked at the pained look in his eyes. He really did want to stay. He didn't want to leave her, but he had to. "It's okay. I understand." Meredith smiled a bit. "Go save lives."

"Okay." Derek moved his head a little and gave her a tiny kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow."

----

Meredith was sitting on her couch watching Bambi. She was crying her eyes out. Bambi's mom just died.

_Why are all Disney Movies so scary or sad? _

Meredith's phone started vibrating on her coffee table. She looked at the caller id, and smiled.

"It's about time you called me."

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm the worst person ever!"

_No, I am... _

"No, no it's okay. How's Lily doing?"

"She's fine, but she misses her Auntie Mer."

Meredith let out a small laugh. "Tell her I miss her too."

Izzie gasped. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! I can't believe it! You are such a slut!"

"WHAT?!"

"You had sex!"

Meredith laughed nervously, "What are you talking about? Finn isn't even here, and he wouldn't even if he was."

"I know, I know, marriage is over-rated. But you had sex, with who, though? Hmm..."

"Izzie! I did not have sex with anybody!"

"Oh my god! It was McDreamy, huh?"

_Who the hell is-? Derek! _

"You've talked to Cristina."

"How is it?"

"What?! Izzie!"

"Oh, come on, you probably have already told Cristina, just tell me!"

"..."

"OH MY GOD! YOU HAVE'NT TOLD CRISTINA?!"

"No, well, it like just happened and I-..." Meredith paused. "Holy shit! Izzie, you can't tell her, please?"

"All right, all right, I won't." Izzie paused, in thought. "What are you going to do about Finn?"

"Oh, god, Izzie, I don't know." Meredith could feel the tears threathening to fall again.

"Well, do you love him?"

Meredith didn't skip a beat. "Yes."

"Who are you talking about?" When Izzie was met with silence, she said, "I think you need to figure that out, Meredith." And with that, she disconnected.

_Oh, god... _

* * *

**Okay, another chapter, kinda sad, I'm sorry. **

**Please review and I'll try to update sooner. Thanks! **

**-Mary**


	17. CHEATER!

**Not much to say, so let's just get on with it. **

**Disclaimer: NO! **

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_Four more days... Oh, god. _

SLAP!

"You cheated!" Meredith screamed at Derek.

"No I didn't!"

"Whatever..."

A few seconds pass.

SLAP!

"Stop cheating!"

"I'm not cheating! You're cheating! You stop cheating!"

"Hey! I'm not cheating!"

"Fine, just keep going."

A few more seconds later...

SLAP!

"Okay, I'm done with this! You are such a cheater!" Meredith yelled.

Derek laughed, "You are such the cheater! _You _stop!"

"Okay, fine. We are so done playing this." Meredith said from her seat on top of the coffee table. Derek was sitting on a chair facing the table, cards in between them. She started to clean up the cards, "You know, its sad really that you feel like you have to cheat in a simple game of slap jack." Derek started to laugh again. "I mean, if you're trying to compensate for something just get a-" Meredith couldn't complete her sentence, Derek pulled her onto his lap and captured her lips with his. She dropped the cards from her hands and started to play with his hair. Derek pulled away and whispered in her ear, "Do I have to compensate for something?"

Meredith looked down and laughed, "Well... I guess-..."

She was interupted by the doorbell. The two looked at each other, then Meredith jumped up, "PIZZA!" She ran to the door, on the way grabbing her purse. She flung open the door, retrieved the pizza, and paid the delivery boy. She closed the door and started laughing all the way to the kitchen.

Derek looked up at her with a puzzled expression. "I'm not even gonna ask."

Meredith laughed even harder at this. "That delivery boy was checking out my boobs."

Derek laughed. "But everyone checks out your boobs."

Meredith stopped. "What? What are you talking about? No one checks out my boobs!"

"Mer, when we were at the grocery store yesterday, like three guys were checking you out, and you were totally oblivious. Weren't you wondering why I just started to make out with you for no reason?"

"Well, not really..."

Derek laughed.

----

Meredith sat in Derek's arms on the couch. They were watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Meredith was scared shitless. She didn't like scary movies, they gave her nightmares. Derek knew this when he went to rent a video. Whenever it got to an especially scary or gross part in the movie, she inched closer and closer to him, until she was on his lap. After she couldn't be more on top of him, she would lift his shirt up and hide her head underneath it. Then, after a couple minutes, she would make her way out of the shirt. Derek laughed at her each time.

"Derek?" She whispered.

"Yeah, Mer..." He whispered back.

"Can we watch something else?"

"Um, yeah, the bag is on the kitchen table."

Meredith didn't move.

Derek looked down at her. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"Yes, please."

Derek laughed a little, "Okay, Mer, I'll walk you into the kitchen."

Meredith got up and pulled Derek up by his hand and led him into the dark kitchen. He smiled as she frowned when she looked in the bag.

"Derek, these are all scary movies, Saw one, two and three? The Shining? The Birds?! Derek! What the hell?"

Derek just stood there, his eyes wide, like he just saw a ghost. He was looking past Meredith, into the darkness. Meredith started to get scared. She didn't want to turn around because she was scared at what Derek was staring at.

"Derek?"

"..."

"Derek, what's wrong?"

Derek slowly raised his arm up and pointed right behind her. He kept on staring, not breaking eye contact with whatever he was staring at.

"Derek! What the hell are you staring at?!"

Derek just kept staring. Meredith, tired and scared of whatever it was, turned around swiftly, and was met by a small black thing jumping into her arms, and something grabbing her from behind. Everything happened so fast, she didn't have time to think of anything, but she was able to produce a loud, ear piercing scream.

"HOLY SHIT!"

She ran to the light switch and turned it on to reveal Derek bent over laughing in his place. She looked down at her hand holding the black thing that jumped on her and found Bear. She looked back up at Derek. He was still laughing. She walked calmly into the living room and sat down on the couch with Bear. A few minutes later, Derek walked in and sat down next to Meredith.

"You scared the shit out of me!!"

Derek couldn't keep his laughter in any longer. "I'm sorry, but it was hilarious!" He looked down at Bear and took him out of Meredith's hands. "Bear and I were planning it all day."

Meredith looked up at him and scooted down the couch away from him. "I'm mad at you."

She looked to the television. The scary man in the movie was sawing off body parts. She looked back at Derek, sitting all by himself over on the other side of the couch. She looked back at the television, blood was everywhere. She crawled over to where Derek was and laid her head on his chest, buried her face in it.

"I'm still mad at you." Her muffled voice came out a few seconds later.

He kissed her head and said, "Sure you are."

* * *

**Okay, another chapter, fluff, no Finn thoughts, just think of it as the calm before the storm. **

**Oh, and Bear. I totally forgot about Meredith's dog. So Bear is Meredith's dog, don't feel bad if you forgot about him, I did. Aren't a good fic author? **

**Please review! Thanks. **

**Mary**


	18. She has to take a huge shit!

**Okay, this took a long time to write. And I know you don't want to hear my excuses, so I will continue. **

**Oh, and I am pleased and kinda sad to say that this fic is coming to a close pretty soon. maybe three or four more updates. Epilogue? Who knows... **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's Anatomy, then the show would probably more like this fic and not the greatness that is the show. **

* * *

_Holy shit, two more days! _

Meredith sipped her coffee. She looked over to the person reading the menu across the table, then looked away quickly.

"Okay, out with it."

"IsleptwithDerek." Meredith said quickly and under her breath.

"Okay, now say it now so humans can hear. I don't speak dog." Cristina said.

Meredith shot her best friend a glare. "Fine! I slept with Derek! There are you happy?!" She yelled. Everyone in the restaurant looked around at her and stared.

"Sorry, she has tourettes." Cristina stood up and grabbed her friend by the arm and dragged her towards the bathroom. There were two women in the restroom fixing their hair and makeup. "Leave." Cristina ordered.

"Excuse me?" One the women asked.

"Leave now." Cristina shot back.

"What is wrong with you?" The other woman asked.

Cristina leaned forward and whispered. "It's not me, it's her." Cristina motioned discreetly to Meredith. "She has to take a _huge_ shit. Trust me, it's not going to be pretty."

The two women looked at each other and ran out of the bathroom. Cristina started laughing loudly.

"What did you say to them?"

"Um... nothing. Okay, sex details. NOW."

Meredith walked over to mirrors and checked herself out. "Why did we have to go into the bathroom?"

"Because, it's rude to talk about sex over dinner."

"And being in this disgusting, smelly bathroom is any better?"

"It doesn't matter!" Cristina was growing frustrated. "So, were there any little blue pills involved?"

"Cristina!"

"What? I've seen the little grey wisps of hair, he isn't getting any younger, Mer."

"Everything was fine, it was all natural." Meredith paused. "And one day, those little blue pills will save your marriage. Markie isn't that much younger than Derek."

"Shut up, Mark has no problems, have you seen who he is sleeping with?"

Meredith and Cristina laughed.

"So, now here comes the bigger question."

"Uh-oh."

"Yep." Cristina looked at her friend. "What about Finn?"

Meredith turned around to face the mirror again. She studied the person looking back at her. She didn't recognize that person anymore. She had bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep last night. Her hair was frizzy, but she had the biggest smile on her face for the first time since...

_Since when? _

Since she met Finn. Finn was bringing her down. He was boring, and stupid, inconsiderate. He never did half of the nicer things Derek did for her. Derek took her breath away, made her knees turn to jelly, and made her never, ever want to see Finn again. She wanted to see Derek everyday for the rest of her life. She didn't want Finn like she wanted Derek.

"Meredith?"

Meredith turned around and faced her friend.

"Cristina, I don't know what to do." She pleaded. "You have to help me."

Cristina looked at Meredith. She looked exhausted. Cristina felt bad for her. But, she couldn't help her.

"I can't, Mer." She paused. "I wish I could, Meredith, but I can't. This is your decision. I can't choose for you. You know..." Cristina stopped herself and looked at Meredith harder. She was thinking of what to say. "You know all of us joke around about Finn, but truth is, we're just giving you and him a hard time. I mean..." Cristina paused again. "That um, Finn isn't my favorite person in the world, but if he makes you happy, then I-, then all of us can accept that." Meredith looked at Cristina, shocked. "Yeah, Meredith, I just want you happy, and safe. You're my sister, you're my family. But this is your life, your decision." Tears slowly rolled down Meredith's face. "But, Meredith, listen to me. When you make your decision, make sure you have made the right one. Because what it comes down to is love. Whether you love him or not. You can't spend the rest of your life miserable, pining for the man you are in love with, but didn't choose." Cristina said.

Meredith just stood there, taking in and comprehending the words her friend said.

"Meredith, do you love him?"

"Yes."

Cristina cocked her head to the side and smiled. She already knew the answer to the question she was about to ask, but she asked anyway.

"Who?"

Meredith smiled back at her friend.

* * *

Meredith let herself into her house, put her coat down, and walked into the kitchen. She was fully aware that he was in the house already, and she was excited to see him, and tell him all the things she needed to.

When she reached her destination in the kitchen, blue met blue. Their eyes met instantly and both of their cheeks flushed. Heat instantly filled the room with sexual tension. Her breath caught in her throat and his chest heaved. They stood there staring at each other, waiting for the other to make a move first. When he couldn't take it anymore he lunged forward and covered her mouth with his lips. She instantly responded by wrapping her arms around his neck. He opened his mouth for her tongue, and lifted her up so she could wrap her legs around his torso. Their lips never broke contact as he carried her into her bedroom and gently put her down on the bed. He moved his mouth over to her jawline, and started to nibble on her ear. She moaned, stuggling underneath his weight. She tangled her fingers in his unruly hair as he made his way down to her neck.

Soon enough, the duo was stripped of their clothes, and in the throes. Once they started, they couldn't stop. They were an explosion of strong, passionate emotions and unrepented actions. Once again, they made love all night, only stopping to catch the occaisional breath.

The two stayed in the same position all night, and early in the morning, only to be woken up by a cell phone vibrating on Meredith's side of the bed. She reached over to her phone and frowned at the caller ID.

It flashed Finn.

She pushed the ignore button and snuggled back into his arms, listening to the rain tapping lightly on the roof.

Derek dropped a kiss on Meredith's head, to be met with a smile that graced her face. After hours of being wrapped in each others' arms, they both fell into a deep slumber that cooled their aching limbs, and satisfied their wildest dreams.

* * *

**Okay, another chapter, kind of the same as the last ones, but I promise this fic is going somewhere. Please review, thanks! **

**Mary**


	19. Silence

**Okay, I'm so so sorry for not updating this sooner. Life has been kicking my ass. Oh, and some of my other favorite fics haven't been updated, so I didn't have any inspiration. But here it is. Finally. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters.

* * *

**

Silence.

That's all she heard when she woke up that morning.

Nothing.

It was menacing, threathening almost. No pager, no snoring from the man beside her, no dog barking. Nothing.

She didn't like silence. When she was alone, she would listen to music or just listen to the television to drown out the silence. When she was with someone, anyone, she would ramble, just to make noise. She didn't care what anyone said, silence was not golden.

She thought she didn't like the silence between her and another person because she wasn't all that good at reading people. She didn't like it when she didn't know what people were thinking. It almost scared her to look at another person without knowing what they were thinking.

She opened her eyes and looked at the sleeping form of the man beside her. She couldn't even hear him breathing. If she couldn't see that his chest was moving up and down, she would of thought he wasn't breathing. She studied his features and felt his warm skin touching hers. She watched his lips twitch slightly in his sleep. She reached out to touch his silken curls, but pulled back. She didn't want to disturb his sleep.

She rolled over in the bed and winced. A general bad feeling crept through her body. Something was wrong. She closed her eyes tight and tried to will away the feeling. Waking up with a beautiful man in your bed after a long, long night wasn't something to feel bad about.

Usually.

She opened her eyes again.

Silence.

It was killing her. She needed noise, something, anything. She flopped onto her stomach and buried her face in the pillow.

A few seconds passed.

And there it was. It was the first sound that morning. It was loud and unappealing. It made her jump, and let out a small shriek. It shook her to the core and made her want the unrelenting silence back. It scared her, even though she knew it was the dog in the other room. He knocked something over.

She looked over to the man in her bed. He was still sound asleep. The noise didn't even make him flinch. He didn't move a muscle.

It was silent again.

----

The next time Meredith woke up, she was met by the sound of her phone vibrating on the nightstand. She reached over and looked at it.

It was _him_. She pushed the ignore button and set it back on the nightstand.

"Why are we ignoring people today?"

Meredith buried her head back in the pillow and mumbled some incoherent sentences.

Derek laughed. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her small body towards his. He buried his head in her shoulder and peppered her neck with kisses. She answered by squirming and giggling.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand you while you're wearing a pillow on your face." Derek whispered in her ear.

Meredith didn't respond, she just took Derek's hand in her's and started to kiss his knuckles.

He started to nip at her earlobe. "Are you ignoring me too?"

Meredith shook her head in a negative response.

"Are you sure?"

Meredith nodded her head yes.

"So who was on the phone?"

She turned around and looked into Derek's eyes.

"No one special." Meredith smiled.

----

They were sitting at the table eating lunch. The two weren't making eye contact, nor were they talking. They just sat there and ate their respective sandwiches.Every once in a while, Meredith would look up at Derek and just stare. It would take a few seconds for Derek to look up from the newspaper he was reading, but when he did, he didn't tell her to stop looking at him, but he would just stare back until Meredith would look down back at her food.

_Finn is coming home tomorrow, I need to tell him. _

Meredith found herself staring at Derek again. She didn't take her eyes off of him, like she was burning his image into her brain. It was that odd feeling in her gut that something was going to happen today. Something bad. And if something bad were to happen, Derek's image would be the last thing she saw. She was awoken from her trance when Derek casually took her hand in his. He didn't look up, he didn't say anything, he just held her hand. Like he knew there was something wrong, something eating at her on the inside. When she felt the contact, she instantly looked back down to her food, like she was embarrassed.

_Meredith Grey, you need to tell him before he finds out. _

She looked up out the window. The sky was really overcast, it was going to rain in a couple of hours. The sun was struggling to creep out behind the thick clouds, but those clouds weren't allowing access.The foggy wheather paralled her gloomy personality.

"We should walk Bear before it starts to rain, Mer." Derek's rang out, slicing into Meredith's thougths.

Meredith's spirits rised a bit. She _needed _to get out of that house she shared with Finn.Taking a walk would be the perfect opportunity to tell Derek the bad news.

"Okay, I'll go get the leash." She said as she got out of her seat. "I'll be right back."

"Don't forget to bring a jacket, hon, it's real cold outside."

"Okay!" She yelled from the other room. She could hear her phone start to vibrate in the kitchen. "Oh, hey, Derek, could you get that? It's probably Izzie, we're supposed to have lunch tomorrow."

"Yeah, sure." Derek got up and walked over to her phone on the counter. The caller ID stated Meredith was getting a call from a restricted number. He opened the phone without a second thought. "Hello?"

"Hey, Meri!"

----

Meredith walked into her room and sat down on her bed. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

_Oh god, I have to tell him. I have to tell Derek about Finn. I have to tell my boyfriend about my other boyfriend. I can't do it. I can't do it! _

Meredith fell to her back on the bed. Her breathing started to become labored and heavy. She closed her eyes shut real tight, and pinched her nose at the bridge. She couldn't believe she let things get so bad.

_What did I do? What did I do? What did I do?_

"Hey _Meri._"

Meredith's eyes shot open real fast. Her whole body froze, and she felt sick. She felt like there was a huge 10 ton elephant sitting on her chest and she just swallowed her tongue. She slowly sat up on her bed to come into contact with Derek. Meredith didn't dare to look into his eyes. She knew what lie beneath them. Anger, hurt, sadness, lonliness, hate. The one thing she most wanted to see in them she knew wouldn't be there. She felt the tears stinging the back of her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and forget everything else. This isn't what she wanted. She wanted Izzie to be on the phone, not Finn.

"I'm so sorry, Derek." She whispered, almost inaudible to him. She thought he didn't hear her when he just started talk, rambling and didn't stop.

"Yeah, so I had an interesting talk with _Finn._ He told me everything, _Meri._" Derek spat out.

"Derek..."

"No, Meredith, it's okay, I should of known you had a boyfriend when you told me."

"But I..."

"EXACTLY! You didn't tell me, Meredith, you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend of one year! Meredith! You didn't tell me! You had two weeks to tell me! Why didn't you tell me?!" By now, Derek was yelling at Meredith. She was still sitting on the bed and Derek took a few steps forward. He was standing about two inches from her, yelling. She was scared. She was scared of Derek, she never, ever thought she would be. Derek was the last person Meredith ever thought she would be scared of. And she didn't want to be.

"Derek, I... I'm so sorry." She whispered.

"Answer my question!"

"I... I didn't..."

"What was I to you?! Just some cheap fuck?! Then you just go back to your 'real' boyfriend?!"

This time Meredith got mad. Derek was more to her than she could communicate. It broke her heart to hear him talk about himself like that. If anything, she felt like she was cheating on Derek with Finn.

"Never." Meredith said loudly, standing up. "Never were you just some... some..." Meredith paused. "Cheap fuck." She added with a whisper.

"Then why, Meredith?! Why didn't you tell me?!" Derek yelled. He was pacing. He was just trying to understand where she was coming from.

A few seconds passed and still Meredith just stood there watching Derek walk around the room like a madman. She still hasn't answered his question. Then, he suddendly stopped and looked into Meredith's eyes. Right then, Meredith's eyes filled with the tears that were threathening to fall all day.

"Meredith." Derek said slowly, lightly. "I know..." He paused tyring to find the right words to say. "I know we only have known each other for two weeks. But," He took a step closer to her. "But you should know, you can tell me anything."

"I do." She said. "I do know that. I trust you, Derek. I know I can tell you anything. But this..." She paused. "This was different. This was bigger. I didn't want to hurt you." She added with a whisper.

Derek took a step back from her, like she just struck him. He looked away from her face, anywhere but her face. His eyes just happened to fall on her dresser. He didn't know why he didn't notice it before, but there was a picture on it. The woman and the man in the picture were hold hands, staring into each others' eyes, full of love. He recognized the woman as Meredith, and only assumed the man was Finn.

"And what do you think I feel now?" Derek said, his voice full of hurt. "The woman I fell in lo..." He paused and shook his head. "The woman I just spent the last two weeks with, the woman I shared my deepest secrets with lied to me! You lied and now nothing will be the same!" Derek spat out.

Meredith's heart sank at that last sentence. Those tears that were blurring her vision were now long rivers streaming down her cheeks. She couldn't speak, she felt paralyzed. She just stood there, watching Derek walk out of her room in a blind rage.

_If everything we've got is blowing away_

_We've got a rock and a rock till our dying day._

She couldn't believe it, he just walked out the room like that. She started to follow, then she heard the front door open and close. Then, Meredith started running. She had to catch up to him. She had to tell him everything.

She caught up to him outside. The rain was pouring down. Her clothes were getting soaked, but she didn't care. Right now, all she cared about was him.

"Derek!"

"What do you want?" Derek yelled back. "Do you have anymore boyfriends you don't want to tell me about?"

"Derek, I'm sorry!" Meredith pleaded. "This wasn't supposed to be like this!" Meredith touched his arm. "Derek, please don't leave."

He looked at her. He did feel sorry for her, but he was so angry at the same time. He wanted to stay, but he was so furious. "Meredith... I can't"

_I'm holding on to you, holding onto me _

_Maybe it's all we've got, but it's all I need _

_You're all I need_

Meredith started to cry again. Her grip on his arm got tighter. He looked down at her face again. It was breaking his heart to leave her, but he had to.

_And if all we've got is what no one can break _

_I know I love you _

_If that's all we can take _

"Derek I'm so sorry." He pulled out of her grip and started to walk towards his car. She just stood there, not knowing what to do. All she could do was watch him walk away. She took another step forward, as if to go after him again, but it was too late, he was already taking off.

"I'm so sorry." She cried to herself. She was alone now. She looked up to the sky, the raindrops dropping onto her face. She felt her legs give out beneath her, and she fell to the muddy ground.

_The tears are coming down _

_They're mixing with the rain _

_I know I love you, if that's all we can take. _

Meredith sat in her front yard, looking at the street, like she was waiting for him come back.

"I love you."

But this time, no one said it back.

It was silent again.

* * *

**Okay, there it was.**

**You may proceed to yell at me now. **

**-Mary**


	20. Raindrops on Roses

**Finally an update. I know, I'm the worst, it's been like fifteen days. Family came to visit, so I had no time to do anything, let alone breathe. But I have a whole week off for Thanksgiving, so, expect more updates, I hope. **

**Okay, I know I have Meredith's thoughts in italics, but there will also be some flashbacks in italics, but I think you'll be able to tell the difference.**

**Disclaimer: Haha, good one. **

* * *

_"And what do you think I feel now?" Derek said, his voice full of hurt. "The woman I fell in lo..." He paused and shook his head. "The woman I just spent the last two weeks with, the woman I shared my deepest secrets with lied to me! You lied and now nothing will be the same!" Derek spat out. _

Meredith sat in her bathtub, fully clothed, running some of the last words Derek said her over in her head.

_"...You lied and now nothing will be the same!" _

The tears that were slowly trailing down her face came harder and faster now, she never thought they would stop. The night before wasn't any better. She tossed and turned all night, every once in a while coming into contact the pillow she washed five times, but it was no use. Derek's smell still lingered. She woke up, (after two hours of unrestful sleep, and countless dreams of Derek), and remembered what today was.

_Finn is coming home today. _

She couldn't help but have hope that Derek would come back for her.

_"The woman I fell in lo..." _

Meredith heard someone trying to get into the front door with a key. Her heart sprang up into her throat.

_Derek?! _

Her hopes drifted away when she heard it. It was very disturbing, almost sickening. It was _him. _

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens..."

Singing that song from that one movie she hated.

She heard him go into their room and put his things down.

"Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens..."

She hates him.

_I can't hate him over a song. _

Then... He just starts to scream it out. It hurt her ears so bad to hear her boyfriend sing _that _song...

"When the dog bites!  
When the bee stings!  
When I'm feeling sad!  
I simply remember my favorite things,  
And then I don't feel so bad!"

_Oh my god... I HATE HIM! _

"Meri?" He called out. "I'm home, Meri!"

Meredith just stared ahead, not calling out to him, to let him know where she was. He could search for her.

Finn was growing impatient with her. "Meredith!" He screamed. "I know you're here! Just come out! I hungry, damn it!"

She sunk lower in the tub. She pulled her shirt up just slightly, to reveal a small bruise that was fading away. It has been three weeks since that bruise was the size of a closed fist and a dark colour of black and blue. When Derek asked about it, she told him she ran into a table. It was the only lie she told him, except for the obvious.

She heard him walking towards the bathroom. The silent tears fell fastly down her cheeks. Meredith turned on her side, her face away from the door. She closed her eyes shut real tight and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Meredith!" Finn screamed at the door of the bathroom.

She jumped slightly at Finn's outburst. Her sobs came loudly. She knew what was coming if she didn't climb out of the tub and be crushed in Finn's embrace. Another bruise. She didn't know where this time, though. Maybe he would give her a dead leg, or knock the wind out of her by way of the throat. All she knew, is she didn't want to find out.

She found her way out of the tub and into Finn's arms.

"Hi Finn." She whispers, almost inaudibly.

Finn's arms become stiff and cold. "Hi Meri. I missed you so much." He steps out of the embrace to place a kiss below her eye. His hands become gentle and his fingers find her abdomen. "How's your tummy, baby?"

"It's fine." She whispers.

He pulls her shirt up slightly, just like she did moments ago, and examines the bruise. "Good, it's going away." He lets go of the shirt and looks into her eyes. "I'm so sorry I had to do that, Meri, but when I ask you to do something, you must do it right away!" Finn's voice becomes stern.

"Okay, Finn."

"Okay then." He looks at her for a second. "I'm hungry, that plane had shit food. Go make me a sandwhich or something while I take a shower."

Meredith walks out of the bathroom to do the work he just asked her to do.

* * *

**Okay, there it is. Kind of unexpected, huh? Finn obviously has some problems that need to be sorted out, so does Meredith. **

**Obviously, this fic can't end. Yet. This part was unexpected, I didn't plan it. So, it will go on. **

**Please review! Thanks! **

**Mary. **

**Oh, and I want Jime back! She needs to update her fic! 2 months?!**


	21. One Two Three

**Wow, I wasn't expecting the amount of updates, thank you very much. I was expecting people threathening to throw things at me. **

**I was going to keep Finn away for one more update, but I love writing parts of him (not the abusive part), so I brought him back sooner, sorry about that. If you are easily offended by curse words, prepare yourself, there is quite a lot now that Finn is back. Okay, and again, there will be flashbacks.**

**Oh, someone asked about Derek seeing Meredith's bruise on her stomach. He did see it, she just said she "ran into a table", it's in the last post if you want to check. ; ) **

**Disclaimer: The people who own Grey's Anatomy are currently on strike and not writing. This is me writing. **

* * *

Meredith lay in her bed looking at the door. It was 5:45 am, she had to get up in fifteen minutes to make Finn his breakfast. She couldn't help but to think about the other man she shared her bed with just a couple nights ago.

_I miss him. _

It has only been two days since she saw Derek last, but she missed him like crazy. She could still taste his kisses, she felt his stubble on her cheek, and smelt his smell on all her clothes. She couldn't get his face out of her head. She kept feeling his hands all over her body. She had a lot of dreams of him. She dreamt they were married with kids. She dreamt they on their honeymoon in Hawaii. She even had a dream that they were old together holding hands rocking in their rocking chairs on the front porch. Everytime she woke up and saw Finn's sleeping form beside her, she had to cry herself to sleep again.

_Maybe if I tell him _everything_ then he wouldn't be so mad. _

Meredith's eyes widened. She remembered what would happen if she told anyone.

_It was a Saturday morning. Meredith awoke from a hazy sleep. She looked over to the bedside clock and saw it was 3 am. She got up from her bed and wrapped her arms around her slim frame, she only had a tank top and shorts on. She made her way into the kitchen for a glass of water, without bothering to turn any lights on. She must of been half asleep because she didn't feel the glass slip out of her hand. All she remembered was the loud shattering noise it made when it came in contact with the tile floor. _

_"Shit shit shit!" She whispered to no one in particular. _

_She walked over to where she kept the broom and dustpan and proceeded to sweep it up. _

_"Meredith, what the fuck is going on here?" _

_Her head shot up. She didn't expect Finn to wake up from a broken glass, and she never heard him curse like that. She found herself shrinking a little in his fierce gaze. She was scared. _

_"I, uh, I..." _

_"You fucking broke a glass!" Finn screamed loud enough to wake up the next door neighbors. "Again!" He started to walk towards her, but stopped abruptly. _

_"Fucking son of a bitch!" He started to hop on one foot. _

_Meredith looked down and saw he stepped in rather large piece of glass. _

_"Mother fucker!" He screamed. "Look what you fucking did, you little bitch!" _

_"Finn, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to!" _

_He sat down on one of the chairs at the breakfast table and slowly, painfully pulled the piece of glass out of his foot. It was bleeding, a lot. When the first drop of blood reached the floor, he stood up quickly and walked over where Meredith was standing. He put both hands on her arms and shook her fiercly. _

_"You fucking made me bleed, you bitch!" He slapped her across the face. "I hope you're happy! I can barely walk!" He looked into her eyes. "Well?" _

_Meredith was stunned. She has never seen this side of Finn before. Where was the sweet and loving Finn she met in the vet's office? The one that never, ever cursed, or ever lifted to hand to her. _

_She didn't know she was supposed to answer him. "Um, Finn, I'm sorry!" _

_"Well that doesn't help now, does it?" _

_"But, Finn, it's not really my fault, you weren't looking where you were stepping." _

_He responded with a quick blow to her stomach. She fell down to the floor in the fetal position on top of all the broken glass. The shards went into her face, mostly, barely missing her eye. To make matters worse, Finn was kicking her, in the stomach. She took each in blow in stride. One... Two... Three... After that, she lost count. _

_"Bitch. Clean this up." _

_Meredith lay there a few minutes after Finn left. She got up, painfully, and started to clean up the glass. She was too scared to find out what would happen if she didn't clean it up by the morning. She then stood up and walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror at her face. She took most of the big pieces of glass of her face with her hand, but the smaller pieces required tweezers. After she was done, she sat on the toilet and lifted her shirt up to reveal big black and blue bruises. When she felt she couldn't cry anymore, she returned to her bedroom. _

_Finn was already in bed. Meredith noticed his foot was bandaged up. She crawled in under the covers and moved as far away from him as possible. Then, she heard his voice. _

_"If you ever_, ever_, tell anyone what just happened, next time, I won't stop." _

_Meredith found she could cry a little bit more. _

The alarm clock awoke Meredith out of her daze. She found dried tears on her cheeks. She got up and walked into the kitchen.

----

Thirty minutes later, Finn emerged from the shower and walked into the kitchen to be met by the scent of eggs, sausage, and bacon, same as every morning.

"Ah, good morning Meri."

"Morning, Finn." She walked over to the table and set his breakfast down in front of him. She started to walk off to do the dishes when he had another request.

"What, don't I get a good morning kiss?"

Meredith walked back and coldly gave him a peck on the cheek, and walked back to the sink. Finn sighed.

"So I was thinking of having Cristina, Mark, Alex, Izzie, and Lily over for dinner tomorrow night." Finn said.

"Umm..."

_If I don't say yes to this what will happen?_

A flash of herself with a black eye went through Meredith's head.

"Sure sounds like fun, Finn."

"Alright, you call them." Finn paused to take a bite of his eggs. "Hey, where's my toast?"

Meredith looked over to the toaster.

_Oh shit! _

"I'm so sorry, I forgot to take it out of the toaster." She walked over to Finn with the toast.

"It's okay, baby." Finn took the toast from her and said, "So I was thinking lasagna."

"For what?"

"For tomorrow!" He was getting angry. "Christ Meredith, we just went over this! Can't you remember anything?"

"I'm sorry Finn." Meredith apologized. "Lasagna sounds perfect."

_Oh my god. What have I gotten myself into? _

* * *

**Okay there it is. **

**I just wanted to make a chapter telling why Meredith won't tell anyone. That is why, I hope it's not too confusing, if so, just ask. **

**Please review, thanks! **

**Mary**


	22. Merrth

**I'm sorry. I feel really bad. My computer broke, wouldn't even turn on. I got a new one, and I'm back. I promise I won't abandon this fic, so keep reading. **

**But here it is another update. Finally. Don't forget about the kids. Cristina and Mark have twins, Luke and Isabella and Alez and Izzie have Lily.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, not mine. **

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As Meredith was putting the lasagna in the oven, she heard the doorbell ring.

"Finn, can you get that?"

_He can't hurt me, Cristina and Mark are at the door. _

She heard Finn groan loudly from his place on the couch. All day he has been sitting there watching something that sounded oddly like Marth Stewart to Meredith.

"Yeah, _Meri._" Finn sighed, then added under his breath, "God, she can't do anything around here, can she?"

Meredith heard this, but didn't care, she was too busy thinking of the salad she was tossing and the man she was in love with.

_I need to talk to Derek, but how can I make him listen to me? He hates me! _

As Meredith tossed the salad and thought about Derek, she didn't hear Cristina, Mark, Luke, Isabella, and Finn walk into the kitchen.

_Maybe if I just show up at his house and... Shit! I don't know where he lives! _

"Meredith?" Mark was trying to get her attention.

_Maybe I can ask Cristina to look it up in the personnel files at the hospital. _

"Auntie Mer?" Isabella asked.

_No, I can't ask her to do that, maybe I should take it as a sign and just leave him alone... _

"Damn it." Cristina said under her breath as she walked over to her friend and physically shook her. She whispered in her ear, "Stop thinking about McDreamy and entertain your freaking guests!"

Meredith swung around and gave her friend a dirty look. She whispered back, "I was not thinking about McDreamy! He doesn't want anything to do with me!"

Cristina looked into her friend's eyes and whispered, "You really think that?" Meredith nodded. "Oh, god, we have something to talk about then."

"Daddy said it's not nice to keep secrets!" Luke chimed in. "He says I should ask anyone what they are talking about when they start whispering!"

Meredith shoot a look of desperation towards Cristina. "How about not, Luke." Cristina asked.

"Okay!" Luke smiled, "But you owe me twenty bucks now!"

Cristina looked up towards her husband who was trying, but failing, to stifle his laugher. "Well, why don't you ask your daddy, I'm all out."

Mark quickly looked up, suddendly thinking it wasn't funny anymore.

* * *

After the lasagna came out of the oven, Alex and Izzie arrived with their daughter Lily. Izzie helped Meredith with the rest of the dinner, while Cristina "helped" in her own way.

"So how are you and _Finn_ doing, Meredith?" Izzie asked.

"Well, we're do-"

"Oh, cut the crap, Meredith." Cristina said from her place at the kitchen table. She was there with her beer, watching the two women work. "You and Finny don't belong together. Don't make up lies about how you two are happy." Cristina spat. "Now, what are you gonna do to fix this thing between you and McDreamy?"

"Cristina..." Meredith paused, sighing.

"Meredith, Derek is miserable."

"I can't..." Meredith stopped herself. "Wait, what?" Meredith was unconvinced. "What are you talking about?"

"He's miserable. When you two were 'together' or whatever, he was so happy. He had a huge stupid grin on his face all the time." Cristina paused and looked up at her friend. "Ew, like the one you have on your face right now."

Meredith caught herself and stopped smiling.

"God, I wanted to punch that annoying smile off his face..." Crisinta stopped, daydreaming. "Anyway, he was happy, but now he is miserable. What did you do to him?"

Meredith felt the tears clouding her vision. She was looking down at her hands, they were wringing, and she couldn't seem to stop them. "He, um, he found out." Meredith whispered.

"How?" Izzie asked.

"Um, Finn called and I asked Derek to answer. I thought it was you, Iz, but it was him. Next thing I know, Derek is yelling and crying, and I'm crying, and he just left." Meredith stopped to wipe the tears from her eyes. "But anyway, he was so mad, Cristina, he wouldn't want to talk to me."

"Ugh, you never listen to me." Cristina walked to the door of the kitchen and yelled, "Mark, get your ass in here! I need you for something!"

"No!"

"Marcus Jacob Sloan! Now!" Cristina yelled.

"Damn." Izzie muttered.

"Wow." Meredith whispered.

"Damn straight." Cristina said. "He knows he's in trouble. Just watch."

"Hi honey." Mark said, accompanied with a kiss on the cheek, to Cristina as he entered the kitchen. "What can I do for you?"

"Never embarrass me in front of my friends again."

"Okay, dear, anything else?"

"Never make me use your full name again."

"Okay." Mark's shoulders slumped slightly.

"One more thing." Cristina smiled. "Give me fifty bucks."

Mark quickly took his wallet out of his back pocket and deposited the bill in his wife's hand.

"Good boy."

Mark started to leave, when Cristina asked him, casually, "Hey, Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"You know Dr. Shepherd?"

"Head of neuro?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, he's that guy whose always moping around the hallways. He always looks like someone just ran over his dog. Shit, man, that guy needs to grow a pair, get laid, and stop acting like a little girl."

Meredith looked down, baffled at Mark's response. Cristina saw Meredith's reaction to her husband's remark and said, "Thank you Mark, you can go now."

When Mark left, Meredith looked up with tears in her eyes.

"You were telling the truth."

Cristina sighed, "Meredith, he needs you."

* * *

"And then I said, your dog swallowed a lightbulb!" Finn yelled at the top of his lungs. The couples and children were all at the dinner table enjoying, or trying to, the meal Meredith and Izze put together. Finn had a little too much to drink, and in his impaired state, he thought it would be funny to tell some "amusing" stories from the vet's office. Of course, being a vet is a dull and lifeless job, so none of his jokes were funny. So, no one was laughing. 

"Ha, that's very funny Finn. I wish we could stay longer, and... and um, hear more jokes, but Izzie and I have to take Lily to a, um, dance recital tomorrow morning." Alex said as him and his family stood up as quickly as they could.

"Uhh, yeah, Cristina and I should get going too. She has an early shift tomorrow." Mark said quickly.

Meredith stood up and said under her breath, "Lucky bastards." She walked over to the door with Luke and said her goodbyes to her friends. The whole time her friends were putting their coats, giving hugs, and walking out the door, Meredith could feel Finn's presence beside her. Right beside her. He was practically on top of her.

_What the hell is this? Shit, he's so fucking close, he might as well just jump into my arms. _

When the last of their guests departed the couple stood at the door for a few seconds longer. Meredith felt Finn's hand slip into hers. She looked down at their interlocking fingers, then looked up to his face. He wore a goofy, drunk grin, and lust in his eyes. He leaned forward and kissed Meredith, hard and sloppy. She moved her head back, in an attempt to stop the kiss.

_Oh, shit, he is so drunk! You have to stop this! _

"Meri..." Finn muttered out, "I want you."

_No, no, no... This can't happen . _

"Um, what?" Meredith said, "I thought you, uh, wanted to, um, wait?"

"I can't Merrth, Mereith, Meredith! Why is your name so hard? Anywho, I just can't wait anymore. Come here." He demanded. If she didn't want bruises in the morning, she knew she had to do what he wanted. She stepped into his embrace. She cringed as he put his put his arms around her. She smelt the strong scent of alcohol on his breath.

"Tell me you want this." Finn required. "Tell me that if we... Tell me that if I were to...Just tell me you want this!"

Meredith felt the tears well up in her eyes, for the second time that day, for two totally different things. When she didn't answer right away, he shook her violently. She looked up at him, but she didn't hear his voice. Derek's voice came booming into her head.

_"Well, this sounds like the beginning of a great relationship."_

_"If you want to talk about it, you know you can trust me, right?" _

_"Because, Mer, I care about you. I want to see you happy." _

_"I love you." _

The tears streamed down her face. She didn't have a choice. She didn't want to get beat up, but she didn't want to have sex with this man she didn't love. She wanted to be in Derek's arms, instead of Finn's. She didn't answer her boyfriend, just leaned in and kissed him back, thinking of Derek the whole time. Finn picked her up, and walked to the bedroom. He threw her on the bed, not caring if he hurt her, just of getting the task done. He assaulted her with his touch. She kept her eyes fixed on the ceiling the whole time, crying silent tears for the man she loves. She felt Finn rip her clothes off, violently. She suddendly felt a surge of anger, sadness, guilt, and numbness. She didn't want this. "No!" she heard herself yell out.

"No?" Finn asked angerly, "No?! Fucking bitch, you'll take this, and you'll enjoy it!" Finn answered, accompanied with a punch to her right eye.

She stopped fighting it and just lay there, tears rolling down onto the pillow Derek made his own. She turned her head to the side, and reveled in Derek's scent. Meredith felt Finn collapse beside her, telling her that he was done. She moved her body to the edge of the bed, as far away from him as possible. She felt him right beside her, whispering in her ear.

"You tell no one of this."

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**Okay, that chapter was sad. I hate writing sad. So, please review, tell me what you think, if anyone is still reading. **

**Thanks, **

**Mary**


	23. Chicken soup for the soul

**Thank you for those you who reviewed, I appreciate them all, good or bad. **

**I know the last chapter wasn't the best, but it only gets better from here, so please stick with me.**

**Also, I'm trying something new here, so please, be nice. **

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own any part of Grey's Anatomy. **

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"Chips, beer, apples, bananas..." 

_Meredith _

Derek stopped abruptly in the middle of the aisle, surprised at the fifth item on his list. He was in the supermarket shopping for the week, trying to remember what he wrote down on his list he forgot at home. It has only been about four days, but it seems like four months since the last time he saw Meredith. He thought he was over her the minute he found out about Finn, but she always seemed to pop up in his thoughts.

_But she didn't tell me about her "boyfriend." I can't believe she didn't tell me. _

He missed her. He missed the way she giggled, the way she sat in his arms while they watched a scary movie. He was just so mad at her. She had a boyfriend! She hurt him, and he didn't want to stick around her. He thought she was different.

_That always seems to happen to me. With Addison, and now Meredith. Maybe I don't deserve love. _

He made a silent vow to himself to not think about Meredith anymore, he didn't want to hurt any longer. He wanted to move on, and he wanted to stop moping around. However...

He would lick his lips every so often to see if he can still taste her on his lips, he tried to smell her on his shirt she slept in that first night. When his two senses of taste and smell failed him, he would rely on his sense of sight. All he had to do was close his eyes, and he saw her radiant face, her sparkling eyes, her wide smile. But, reality came crashing down around him when he opened his eyes, and Meredith's form escaped him.

He sighed and moved on, pushing his cart, when he heard it from one aisle away. His grey eyes returned to the indigo blue they once were, his ears perked up and his spirits raised. Even though what he was hearing were curse words, nothing else seemed to beautiful to him in his life.

"Shit, shit, shit!"

He was over in the next aisle in a matter of seconds. He didn't know what he would do when he came into contact with this person in stress, but he knew he had to be there, just next to her. He saw her sitting on the ground trying to pick up cans of soup that fell. There she was, on the ground, surrounded by about thirty cans of soup. Her hair was in her face, but he knew it was her. He abandoned his cart, and walked slowly to where she was, ignoring the stares of the other customers. His heart was pounding in his chest. He looked down and his hands were shaking. When he was close enough, he bent down and picked up a can of soup. As soon as he did it, he regretted it, and felt a pang of guilt shooting through him.

_What the fuck am I doing?! She has a boyfriend, and I come here and try to talk to her? _

Right when he put his hand on that can of chicken noodle soup, her head shot up. She looked him in the eye, and right then, the world stopped for him. He looked back into her grey eyes. They had a conversation, without words. They said their apologies, their acceptances, and professions of love. His face was glowing, as was hers. They were finally interrupted by angry customer trying to get to the rest of the canned soup.

"Excuse me, go do that somewhere else, so we don't all have to witness the eye-sex." The woman said, then walked away.

The two put the soups back where they belong in silence, then turned to each other when the task was done. Just then, Derek finally noticed the shiner that "graced" Meredith's right eye. He gingerly reached up and touched the swollen part surrounding her eye.

"Who...?" Derek finally got out.

Meredith looked at him, she was going to answer him, and truthfully this time, when, they both heard a shrill voice cutting through the silence that surrounded them.

"Meri! Where did you go?"

Meredith looked down, ashamed of herself and of Finn. But Derek knew better. He knew who did that to her.

_That goddamn son of a bitch... _

"I'm gonna kick his ass..." Derek muttered under his breath, but Meredith still heard it. He started to move towards Finn's voice, but Meredith stood in his way, her tiny fists on his chest.

"Derek, please..." Meredith pleaded.

"Meredith! Look what he did to your eye!"

Then it dawned on him, all those bruises and cuts all over body weren't from running into a table, or a door. They were from him.

He looked at her agian, and saw pure exhaustion, and hurt. She looked haggard and worn. "Oh, Meredith..." He whispered. "Why didn't you-"

"Meri! Where's that soup, hon?" Finn said, rounding the corner. "Meri-" Finn was cut off by a hard, rough punch to the face. He went down like a sack of potatoes. He lay on the ground in the fetal position, still in shock from the force of the punch.

"You son of a bitch!" Derek spat, from his position standing above him, his head reeling full of adrenaline, anger, and hatred. He was shaking his hand out, it was hurting from hitting Finn in the bone just below his eye. "How do you fucking like it, asshole?!"

Finn just lay on the ground, his hand raised to his face in defence, crying his eyes out. He was lying on the floor, crying like a little girl. He didn't answer Derek, and he didn't look up at Meredith or the other customers crowded around to see what all the commotion was about.

Meredith stood to the side, no longer holding Derek back. It's not like she wanted Derek to punch Finn... well, she _did_ want Derek to punch Finn, but she knew there was no holding him back. And anyway, she knew she coldn't hit Finn back, so why not let the man she loves do it?

Then, the next few moments all happened in a flash. A security guard came rushing out, manhandling Derek, throwing him out the store. On the way out, he grabbed Meredith by the arm and took her with him. When they were finally outside, Meredith found her way into Derek's arms, crying those unshed tears that welled up in her eyes for days.

Derek stood there, with Meredith in his arms, trying to calm her cries, smoothing back her hair, giving her the occasional kiss on the top of her head.

"Shh..." Derek whispered in her ear. "Mer, it'll be all right."

Meredith sniffled and buried her head into his chest a little more, reveling in his scent. She cried harder for what she did to him, what Finn did to her, and what was to come.

* * *

**Okay, so here is the next chapter. I hope it was better than the last. **

**Please review. Thanks! **

**-Mary**


	24. Trailor?

**Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. **

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The two stood in fro nt of the supermarket, holding each other. Derek was smoothing back her hair, whispering words of comfort in her ear, Meredith was crying her eyes out, making large water spots on his chest. They stood there, oblivious to everyone around them, to everyone staring.

_Why didn't I tell him sooner? _

Meredith tightened her grip on Derek as she saw _him_ stumble out of the market. Derek felt her stiffen in his arms and looked to the automatic doors to see Finn wobbling towards the two.

Meredith stood on her tip-toes and whispered into Derek's ear, "I'm so sorry."

Finn was finally within arm's length of Meredith and Derek. He looked at the two embracing, as if their live's depended on it. "Meredith! What the fuck is this shit?!" Finn spat, "You have the nerve to have your 'boyfriend' punch me, then start fucking_ hugging_ him?!" Finn stopped, obviously looking for answer.

Meredith just stood there, hold onto Derek, not saying anything.

"Get in the goddamn car, let's get the fuck out of here."

Meredith could feel Derek start to let go of her, to yell at Finn, maybe hit him again. She quickly put her hand on his chest and looked up into his eyes. They had a conversation, Derek understood what she needed to do, and Meredith knew he was there to defend her. She stepped out of Derek's embrace and said point-blank, "No."

"What?!" Finn yelled. "What the hell do you mean, no?!" He stepped closer to her, and wrapped his hand around her upper arm. She wriggled free of his grasp, and then it happened again. Finn was on the ground again, this time, with a bloody nose.

However, this time, it wasn't Derek on the other end, it was Meredith.

"Don't you ever touch me again." Meredith spat. "And when someone says 'no', it means NO." Meredith grumbled.

She looked back to Derek with sad, pooled over eyes. Then she started to cry again, this time uncontrollably. He walked over to her, picked her up, and carried her to his car.

* * *

He felt her hand tighten around hers as they pulled up to her house she shared with Finn. Derek looked over to Meredith and saw the fear and pure terror in her eyes. He squeezed her hand a little tighter and tried to reassure her.

"Mer, we have to go in."

She whimpered and a tear fell down her cheek. "No, please, no, don't make me go in there."

"Mer..."

"No!" Meredith raised her voice, tears rapidly trailing down her face. "No, Derek, no, please, no, no, no..."

Derek, frustrated with the center console, got out of the car, ran over to the passenger side door, swung it open, and took Meredith into his arms, agian. Her face found his neck, her tears found his shirt. He whispered words of warmth in her ear.

After about ten mintues of just standing there, Meredith stopped sobbing, and was staring at the house.

"Meredith, we have to go in and get some clothes, and of some of your other things."

Meredith nodded, "Okay."

"But then, we'll go back to the trailor and talk."

"Trailor?"

"Come on, before that asshole comes back." Derek said, ignoring her question.

"Trailor?" Meredith asked, again, to no one, as Derek was already making his way towards to front door.

* * *

Derek took another look around as Meredith gathered her things from her bedroom and bathroom. After reassuring her that Finn wouldn't come barging in while she was in there, Derek took to the living room to wait. He became restless after General Hospital was over and started to look at the pictures on the mantle. He never noticed all the pictures of Finn and Meredith together. There were pictures of them at the beach, at the park, at the carnival. However, the one thing Derek noticed in all of them was the fact that Finn was standing in front of Meredith, instead of beside her, and Meredith wasn't smiling in any of them.

Then there was a picture of a couple at a wedding. It wasn't Finn and Meredith, it was of a tall blonde with a huge smile and a wedding dress on, and a man in a tuxedo with very short hair, looking at the woman, not a smile on his face, but Derek could tell he was happy. But it wasn't the couple on their wedding day that caught his attention, it was the couple in the background sitting at a table. The man had his mean face on, the woman was looking down, she looked ashamed, like a child who just got caught in the cookie jar. Finn's hand was on Meredith's arm, but if Derek looked close enough, he could see Finn's knuckles were white.

"Those are my friends, Alex and Izzie on their wedding day." Meredith said, reaching out to the picture, touching the frame. Derek looked at Meredith and saw how much she loved her friends. It killed him to rip her apart from the place where she no doubt had some good memories with her friends, but it was for the better, because he knew there were much more bad ones.

"Don't forget it."

"What?"

"Don't forget the picture." He looked at the rest of them, and found another one, another couple on their wedding day. "And this one too, take it with you."

Meredith smiled, "I love that picture, thats..."

Derek cut her off, "Cristina and Mark Sloan."

"You know..." Meredith looked puzzled, then realization dawned on her, "You know them from the hospital."

Derek nodded, he has seen them both around, done a couple of surgeries with both of them. They were nice people, he could see how they were friends with Meredith. He took the pictures off the mantle. "Do you have everything you need?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine for a couple of days."

"Okay, let's get going." He said as he ushered her to the fron door.

"And about this trailor..." Meredith wondered out loud, just to be answered by a laugh from Derek.

"You'll see, Meredith."

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**Okay, finally an update, sorry it took so long. **

**Anyway, please review! Thanks! **

**-Mary**


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